Thrift Justice – Taking It To The Next Level

I always feared this day would come. I don’t know if you’ve listened to any of my podcast appearances (there’s a handy list of links over on the sidebar!), but I’ve likened my thrifting to an addiction. That’s exactly what it is. I’ve tried to keep it at bay, and I definitely feel things could be MUCH worse. I mean, I’m not frequenting glory holes for vintage G.I. Joes, but all addictions end up going to the next level. You see, The Hunt is no longer enough for me. I need more adventure, more mystery. I’ve fallen prey to the world of the Mystery Box. Pop culture has taught us that you should probably NEVER choose the mystery box, but I’ve never listened to groupthink. My new approach is like the corporate raider model: I find a large lot for sale, I keep the good stuff, and divest myself of the junk. This has been especially helpful since Yard Sale Season has pretty much ended. As you can imagine, this is a gamble. Sometimes I buy the stuff sight unseen and sometimes I have a few pictures to go on. For example, there’s a story I’ll probably tell you later, as it’s quite the saga, but let’s just say I recently spent $40 on a box of what basically amounted to broken Transformers. That wasn’t a good example, but I had a haul the other day that somewhat validated my new approach to things. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

This was pretty much all I had to go on. Still, I saw the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stuff, and figured I should just take a chance on the whole bin. Boy, am I glad I did!

So, this is what it looked like when I dumped it out on the dining room table. Things are looking a bit more promising, right? Got more TMNT, got some G1 Transformers, and more. Here it is broken into groups:

So, here we have 65 M.U.S.C.L.E. guys. If you remember, this isn’t the first time I’ve stumbled onto a sizable lot of these guys. Some of them have had their features/textures “outlined” with a ballpoint pen, but they’re still in great shape.

We’ve got some G1 Transformers, as well as the Optimus Mighty Mugg. I actually always kinda wanted a Soundwave, and this one is too rough to sell, so it’s nice to add him to my collection. Plus, I’m glad to get that Goldbug. He’s close enough to Bumblebee for me, and I’ve mentioned my love for Bumblebee in the past.

More Army Ants! And unlike the ones here, most of these still have their butts. Huzzah for having butts! Gay Ant Sir Mix-A-Lot will be pleased.

A few figures from Blizzard. I don’t even feel like researching them right now, so I’ll just say it’s a Level 3 Rylon, next to Dragohorn, and Fake Brood.

The sooner these are out of my house, the better. I do NOT do well with Aliens, or any “scary” thing, really. Anyway, the one on the left explodes, while the one in the middle whips around and does the whole “my tiny mouth is coming out of my big mouth” thing. And the one on the right has a water squirting head.

Are you seeing this, Shezcrafti?! Anyway, this was quite the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles coup. As your favorite infomercial would say, “But wait – THERE’S MORE!”

Ace Duck with his wings! Usagi Yojimbo! This little batch is almost my entire dream list from 20 years ago. How fortuitous…and sad.

These Muppets are from 1974, but I don’t know much more than that. They’re almost like fast food premiums, but I didn’t think they were giving the good stuff way back then.

Here we’ve got some DragonBall figures. Let’s see how many people get pissed off by this: Green Swami is apparently from 1989. Yeah, you’ll all chime in and say “THAT’S NOT HIS NAME!” Well, I never watched DragonBall growing up. Unlike many of my compatriots, I didn’t have ADD. It’s also why I didn’t watch Teen Titans.

At the moment, I don’t know what any of these are. I know Clown Reagan is from Mego. And there’s an interesting story about that dolphin. You see, I had one JUST like it growing up, and I chewed off her flippers. That was common for me back then. I’ve since gotten help. But now, it’s like Toy God has restored Flippy (that’s what I’m calling her now, and it’s close enough to Flipper to reap the benefits, whatever those might be) to her former glory! PRAISE HIM!

This picture is like something put together by the folks at Dynamite Entertainment. “Quick, which licenses are available?! OK, Street Sharks..uh huh…Austin Powers…right…Mega Man…really? Huh…OK…Seaquest…but only DSV. Gotcha…and throw the lamest Gargoyle in there. Let’s see if Disney notices.”

Oh, you thought we were done with Turtles? Well, you were wrong, son! We’ve got a Foot Clan Knucklehead, a Cheapskate, and one of those battle inner tube things.

If anyone out there ever wanted 12 inches of Kevin Sorbo, I’ve got ya covered!

Finally, we’ve got a box of what appears to be a complete set of Burger King Star Wars toys. No, I didn’t take them out to show you because A) this post has gone long enough and B) my feelings on Star Wars should be well known by now.

So, who said addictions were bad things? This was far more exciting than the usual thrift store run. Those places have been overrun by book scanners and entrepreneurial grandmothers, anyway. No, it’s time for me to live on the edge! It’s time to take Thrift Justice to the next level!

NOTE: If you’re curious about the source of my forced bravado, I was listening to this while I wrote this. If you’re a child of the 80s, you’ll thank me later.