Thrift Justice: The Case of the Ghetto Sludge

One of my favorite thrifting tactics is to go into…”unsavory” areas. This isn’t very smart, as I stick out like a sore thumb, in my argyle sweater and Dockers. I’m not even sure why I do it, as it rarely yields anything great. I don’t know if this is because someone else had that idea and beat me to it, or if the good stuff just never hits these stores. Anyway, I’m most definitely going to end up like George Jefferson when he was stabbed by that girl gang  (kids, ask your parents about that one) one of these days, but I like to learn things the hard way. On one particular trip, I found a horrific situation. You see, my thrift stores tend to have grab bags of smaller toys, like action figures and fast food premiums. On this day, however, most of the items in the bags had been covered in some kind of sludge. Now, I know that the folks can’t clean EVERY item that comes through, but come the eff on! When you see these pics, you’ll know that there’s no way they didn’t see this before bagging this stuff up. I need to clear some pics out of my Dropbox, so please enjoy this filler edition of Thrift Justice!

When the Rangers were told they’d be getting Dino Thunder powers, I’m sure Dr. Oliver never told them they’d have to cover their helmets with Raptor shit.

And to think Sandman thought Spider-Man 3 was a toxic mess!

Teen Titans Robin in his Red-X garb looks just as dead as Jason Todd here.

This is a member of The Corps. Ya know, “G.I. Joe for Poor Kids”. Just a lesson that if you’re born in shit, you’ll probably die in shit.

Ben 10 is NOT amused.

Another member of The Corps. You’ll never find Sgt Slaughter in this situation. He’ll put you in a ditty bag!

No sludge, but it always saddens me to see Bandai plastic that has yellowed. This used to be the White Blaster Beetleborg. What would his fellow Klansmen say now that he’s not as pure as he used to be?!

I seriously don’t know what was going on with that batch. In some cases, it was like the TGRI container had shattered, but in others it looked like a post-Chipotle explosion. The sad part is that these look like the current trend in custom figures, where it seems “customizers” are just rubbing fecal matter on figures to make them look “gritty”. Anyway, I’ve been back to the store since, and most of the bags were gone. Read that again: MOST OF THE BAGS WERE GONE. So, either management got involved and removed them, OR (and this is the horrible alternative) some parent bought them for their child, and these are currently in that kid’s mouth. All hail the Super Flu!