Laughonomics Part 2: Jefferson Cleaners & Punky’s Place

Well, if you read yesterday’s post, then you already know how this is gonna work. If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, now’s your chance. Go ahead, this’ll be here when you’re done. Done? Great. Let’s do it!

                                                 (stolen from some dude’s MySpace. Ha! MySpace…)

Show: The Jeffersons

Business: Jefferson Cleaners

Outlook: George Jefferson was created as the foil to Archie Bunker. As Archie was a blue collar racist, George was an up and coming businessman. While the two shared the same level of racism, they were neighbors until George’s dry cleaning business took off. At that point, George, his wife “Weezy”, and his shapeshifting son Lionel moved on up to the East Side.  Ya see, after a bus rear-ended him, George used the settlement to open his first dry cleaners store. Over the course of the show’s eleven seasons, he would go on to own approximately seven stores throughout New York City.

Verdict: Jefferson Cleaners is most certainly closed. You see, these stores thrived during the early to mid 80s, when the rents were low, and NYC wasn’t exactly a great place to visit. After all, this was before Giuliani and the Disneyfication of Times Square. I mean, George was stabbed by a girl gang and had to hire Andre the Giant to bodyguard him. It was hard on those New York streets!

The show was cancelled in 1985, and we’re left to imagine what happened next. Here’s what I see: Weezy, ironically, succumbed to lung cancer in 1987 (I guess they should’ve taken that nickname more seriously). After Weezy’s passing, George’s heart just wasn’t in the business anymore. He had built it for the two of them, but now there was only one. As the rents increased in the city, this era also marked the dawn of the discount dry cleaner. These wouldn’t become common until the late 90s, but New York and LA are always ahead of the curve. So, George sold the business, and it’s not really clear what happened after that. While there were reports that he bought a mansion in Bel Air, a mid 90s Philadelphia newspaper mentioned that he had become a deacon at a local church.

                                                                        (courtesy of thatsimportant.tumblr.com)

Show: Punky Brewster

Business: Punky’s Place

Outlook: Considering how many iconic “child of the 80s” favorites aired on NBC, it’s amazing that its ratings were in the tank during that era. Name an 80s hit: Knight Rider, The A-Team, Sister Kate…All NBC shows. In some cases, NBC managed to get a sitcom AND a cartoon out of a franchise, like ALF and Punky Brewster. Today, we’re going to talk about the latter. Punky Brewster starred Soleil Moon Frye, as an adorable orphan who’s taken in by curmudgeonly Henry Warnimont. He’s a grumpy widower, but she comes into his life and brightens his world (it’s really all in the theme song, if you need the whole story). Along with her friends Cherie, Margaux, Allen, and dog Brandon, Punky got into all sorts of adventures, from being trapped in refrigerator to meeting Andy Gibb.

During the second season, everything went to shit. You see, Henry owned a photography studio, called Warnimont’s. And at the beginning of the second season, Warnimont’s burned to the ground (just like Edna’s Edibles, and Webster’s apartment, and The Hogan Family’s house – damn, were there no fire prevention PSAs in the 80s?!). On top of that, Henry suffered a bleeding ulcer, and was drinking Maalox like it was a bottle of Mad Dog. And then the social worker came and put Punky into the system. Oh yeah, and NBC cancelled the show.

Like many 80s shows, Punky Brewster resurfaced in first-run syndication, and all was right in her world. Not only had Henry rebuilt Warnimont’s, but it had also been bought out by a larger company. They allowed Henry to stay on as manager, but it lacked the creativity he needed. For some reason that could only be explained via sitcom logic, the senior citizen quits his job and invests in a hamburger joint that Punky and Cherie had dreamed up: Punky’s Place.

Now, let’s take a minute to look at this. We’re not talking Rachel’s Place here; it wasn’t a standalone, family style casual dining joint. No, this was a teen hangout, built in a mall. It was essentially Punky’s version of The Max, only the paint scheme looked like Lisa Frank had suffered a seizure in the place. In case you’re not picking up what I’m putting down, this was a VERY 80s place. Punky’s Place could’ve been located on the lower level of the mall from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Verdict:  You read that last paragraph, right? Hell, no! Punky’s Place has been closed since 1991. It was replaced by a Showbiz Pizza, then later by a Woolworth’s and a Kay Bee Toys. Before the mall was torn down in 2002, the space was occupied by a Pac Sun and a Gamestop. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, as it was the kind of concept that Punky was bound to grow out of. It’s like on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, when they give a tween’s room a makeover, with walls covered with Finding Nemo and Bratz images. That shit ain’t gonna be cute when she’s 17. This was the same principle. It lasted just long enough for Punky to get to high school and find the whole thing to be lame.

When Punky got to college, she found that she had an…odd roommate. At first, she just thought the chick was a know it all, but it turned out that she was actually a witch – an irresponsible witch, who had a penchant for fucking with the timeline ’cause she didn’t know what she was doing. So, it’s not even clear if Punky’s Place ever existed in the first place. The good news is that Henry’s still alive and kicking at the age of 95. He likes to sit on his stoop and watch the police cars as they go speeding by.

Well, that’s all for today, kids. Tune in tomorrow for…ya know what? Let’s make it a surprise.