Dr. Daniel Jackson: My, How You’ve Grown…

“That sounds massive!”

So, while we’re on this sci-fi kick, there’s something else I’d like to talk about: the “girl crush”. Lately, there’s this phenomenon where it’s cool for girls to list other girls that they find appealing. But what bothers me is that this doesn’t work the other way for guys. There’s no “boy crush” because that’s gay. And I hate that society is like that. So, I would like to break down these walls and, secure in my sexuality, I would like to coin “boy crush”. Now, I haven’t googled it or done any research, so maybe the concept has already been created by some other blogger, like Perez, but that doesn’t count. So, who’s my boy crush?

Dr. Daniel Jackson, as portrayed by Michael Shanks on Stargate:SG-1. Why did I choose him? Oh, let me count the ways.

1. He’s brilliant. No, for real. I mean, he’s the world’s foremost expert on ancient dialects, but with no outlet for this talent, he found himself teaching English to foreigners. That is, until the Air Force came for him regarding the Stargate Program. Why him? Because he was the ONLY ONE ON EARTH who knew how it worked. Just think about that for awhile. Who do you know who is the only one on Earth with a certain talent? You’ll probably think of someone just to piss me off, but now ask yourself: Does so-and-so’s talent compare to the ability to contact new planets and galaxies? No! Beat that!

2. He’s resilient. This is a guy who has come back from the dead more times that Jesus & Jean Grey combined! He even ascended to virtual godhood and said, “You know what? I think I’m over this. I’m gonna go back to being a human.” That’s hardcore. That’s like Thor saying, “Verily, I tire of protecting Midgard. I’m going to buy a condo in Miami.”

3. Umm…look at him. He went from this:

To this:

This transformation took place over a mere five year period. I mean, that’s motivational right there. And what does a makeover like THAT get ya? A hot wife like this:

Hmm…now, I’m perplexed. Is my boy crush on Jackson or Shanks? Both, maybe. But let’s bring it back to Jackson, and this is the bonus round:

In the movie Stargate, Jackson was portrayed by James Spader.

I frickin’ love James Spader. Why? Because in every role, he is nucking futs! He is so unpredictable, and you’re just waiting to see what he does next. Say what you will, but that’s hot.

So, what have we learned here? Well, no matter how hetero you might be, boy crushes are a gateway. My boy crush on Jackson revealed yet another on Shanks, and another on Spader. This is the kind of thing they teach you in church. You like one boy, and the next thing you know, you’re on the wrong side of a glory hole in some Texas rest stop. But it’s not like I wanna do ’em; I simply want to be them. That’s the basis of my admiration.

P.S. Daniel, when you get back from P3X-775…call me?