So, as the lone male in a house with three females, I found myself with them in a theater last Friday, seated for Taylor Swift: The Official Release Party of a Showgirl.
If you weren’t aware, Taylor Swift’s latest album, The Life of a Showgirl, was released that day, and she was commemorating it with a limited engagement theatrical event. Only from October 3rd-5th, fans could go to AMC Theaters and see this “film”. But it’s not a film. It’s the debut of the music video for the lead track off the album, “The Fate of Ophelia”, followed by a behind the scenes featurette. Then, there were lyric videos for all the other tracks, with intros provided by Taylor where she explained her thought process on each song. I’ll admit that “Ophelia” was an impressive video, but I don’t know if we got enough BTS material here. I come from the era of MTV’s Making The Video, where we would watch 25 minutes of behind the scenes content, capped off by the world premiere of a music video. Here, however, she showed us the final product video first, then gave us about 10 minutes of staging and choreo footage. As for the lyric videos, those were gonna end up on YouTube for free anyway, so it’s like the audience was given just enough of an exclusive experience for them not to complain about the $15 non-refundable tickets they had bought. The girls loved it, but I felt like there were 4 good songs, interspersed with 8 tracks of filler. So, I guess that means we need to discuss the album itself.
I would say that this is the most divisive album Taylor has released, but my neo-Swiftie wife, and veteran Swiftie sister-in-law, swear all of her albums are initially panned. I don’t think this is the same, however, as she’s never had a public presence this big. More haters waiting for her to fail. And I’m being accused of being one of them. I come from this line of thinking where I don’t think some artists should be happy. I know that sound terrible, but that’s when they give us their best work. Alanis? Mary J? Fiona Apple? None of them need to be happy. I mean, they should be happy, but they should also probably retire when that day comes. Their strength comes from a place of pain. Now, I won’t put Taylor on that level, but we all know her biggest songs tend to be about breakups, so who knew she would be so clumsy when she finally landed in a great relationship?
Also, tonally, the album is a departure from what we’ve been getting from her over the past five years. Taylor began her transition from Country music with 2012’s Red, which continued through 1989 (2014), Reputation (2017), and Lover (2019). Then Covid hit, and something changed. She started doing video sessions for her fans, and eventually put out Folklore (2020) and Evermore (2020). These were moody, ethereal albums, and they’re really where the idea of Taylor: The Poetess arose. It’s where she started really experimenting with narrative arcs in her storytelling, plus she received accolades for her lyricism. This was no longer the teenager who once sang “You were Romeo, I was the Scarlet Letter”. When she released 2022’s Midnights, she continued with this sound, yet added synth and beats to it. Songs like “Lavender Haze” and “Snow On the Beach” were like the next evolution of what she had begun with Folklore. Even 2024’s The Tortured Poets Department followed suit. And then she released this album, and it’s like she retconned all of the grown of the past five years. This album would have been fine had it been released after Lover, but to be released now it feels like a step backward.
Gone is the moodiness. Gone are the intricate lyrics. Instead, since she’s now engaged to NFL player Travis Kelce, she’s happy. And her process has been affected by it. The fans will say “She’s happy! She’s being playful!”, but it just doesn’t feel like she’s at the top of her game here. Some have surmised this is her “Here’s something to tide you over while I go have babies” gift to her fans. It just doesn’t seem like much of a “gift”. To really get into it, I’m going to have to go track by track. Don’t worry, though, as I’ll keep it brief:
- The Fate of Ophelia – This is a really good song, and deserved to lead off the album. It’s one of the strongest on the album, so no real complaints here.
- Elizabeth Taylor – Yeah, Taylor has had her haters, and she’s been scrutinized in the public eye, but I don’t think she’s as similar to Elizabeth Taylor as she seems to believe. I guess a lot of that will come down to what the last half of her life looks like.
- Opalite – At this stage in their career, I’m impressed when an artist has a song that could only be performed by them. This, however, feels like a boppy Sabrina Carpenter song. Nothing special about it.
- Father Figure – This one is weird because there’s been a lot of press about how she approached George Michael’s estate to get their blessing, even though she doesn’t really sample his song. I’ve seen articles say she “interpolates” it, but she literally just says the words “father figure” in the chorus. Doesn’t use his melody or anything. Unworthy tribute.
- Eldest Daughter – This song is beautiful, and the closest thing to a Folklore song on the album.
- Ruin The Friendship – It’s about taking a chance on romance with a friend, and throwing caution to the wind that it might “ruin the friendship”. Feels like the sort of song she might have written back in her teenage Fearless era.
- Actually Romantic – This one is tricky, as it’s believed to be a diss track against Charlie XCX, as I guess the ladies have beef. The song is about someone who’s hating so hard that it makes it seem more like they love that person, due to all the energy and time they’re wasting on them. Ya know, for a chick whose early career was defined by being clowned by Kanye, this is a VERY Kanye way of thinking.
- Wi$h Li$t – This is actually one of my favorite songs on the album, despite it swerving in and out of the Sabrina Carpenter bop lane. Still, there’s enough Taylor there for me to be fine with it.
- Wood – *Sigh* So, I guess we gotta talk about it. Yes, this song is about Travis’s penis. It’s supposed to be a cutesy playful song that just comes out cringe. It also doesn’t help that the Swiftie Conspiracy Theorists are out in full force. Apparently, the song is 2 minutes, 30 seconds long, and if you convert 230 millimeters to inches, it’s approximately 9 inches. Why can’t they use their powers for GOOD! Anyway, podcaster Katie Nolan pointed out that Taylor tells us all about the size of the Kelce Dick, but not about how he is in bed. It’s more like “Heehee, I saw a peepee!” than it is anything HOT. There was a social media post that said “Taylor must write from her gut, which doesn’t work when her guts have been rearranged.”
- Cancelled! – This song is about how she likes her friends to be cancelled, meaning she gets along best with the folks who have been shunned and cast out. I don’t buy that for a second, but it did lend credence to the idea that she’s Team Blake in all the drama Lively has going on in that Justin Baldoni lawsuit.
- Honey – Pretty forgettable. I’ve listened to this album more than I’d have wanted over the past week, and I remember nothing of this one.
- The Life of a Showgirl – A somewhat somber closing track, which is interesting since it also features Sabrina Carpenter. She borrowed from Carpenter’s playbook so much on this album that I guess someone finally said “Just invite the ol’ gal already!” It’s OK. I mean, the theme of the album itself seems to be Taylor’s tribute to showgirls throughout history. While she is certainly a workhorse, and she puts on shows, I don’t see her in the same light as the “typical showgirl’. So, this is more akin to, say, Gordan Ramsay doing a tribute to all of the short order cooks out there. Sure, they both cook food, but they certainly don’t do it the same way, with the same ingredients, to the same clientele. This is stolen valor of Taylor saying “See, I worked in all the smoky clubs, and dive bars, and clawed my way to the top.” But she didn’t.
We’re at a weird place here, because now it’s a question of whether this album was made by The Real Taylor vs The Taylor That Fans Have Concocted. Plus, you’re left wondering “Is This Autobiographical or just Storytelling?” At the end of the day, does it matter? My wife – who likely won’t read this – is just gonna get mad about all I’ve said, as she has repeatedly told me “It doesn’t matter. It’s just Pop. It’s a fun Pop album.” I don’t think it’s that simple, though. I think she has moved past the space where she is allowed to make “bubblegum pop”. Boybands can make that kind of music because we don’t know much about them. Maybe a first name and their favorite color wifebeater. But we know too much about Taylor. Celebrities are constantly reinventing themselves to stay relevant, but I think we do need to confront the idea that maybe we had fooled ourselves all along. Parasocial relationships are REAL! I’m saying that she hasn’t stayed true to what some might feel was her evolutionary path, but who’s to say that was planned out anyway? The fandom has conveyed the idea that she’s this calculating Artiste, but perhaps she just leaned into the insanity, and this cigar was merely just a cigar all along.
Adventures on Pluto
I warned y’all this might become a regular segment! This week on Pluto TV, I’ve been spending a lot of time with The Neighborhood, which is a CBS sitcom that’s about to start its 8th and final season next week. Anyway, it’s been in syndication for a couple of years, but I never gave it much of a shot. i mean, I tried in the beginning, as the series starts with a Three’s Company-esque misunderstanding. Cedric The Entertainer plays Calvin Butler, a middle-aged black man who still lives in the neighborhood in which he grew up, where he runs an auto shop. His wife Tina is played by Martin/Everybody Hates Chris vet Tichina Arnold, while their two adult sons live with them. When Calvin learns that “David Johnson” is moving next door to him, he gets excited that there’s gonna be a new black man for him to pal around with. So, imagine his surprise when New Girl‘s Max Greenfield shows up, as Dave Johnson, along with his wife Gemma, played by Two Broke Girls vet Beth Behrs, and their tween son Grover. So, a lot of the first season was a bunch of race humor that got tired quickly. Dave was trying WAY too hard to get Calvin to like him, while Calvin was constantly clowning him and annoyed by his “thirst”. At some point, however, I guess the writers realized they could only go so far with this dynamic. So, over time, the neighbors really do end up becoming like family – which is the perfect neighbor dynamic, if you can find it. Dave basically becomes Calvin’s brother from another mother, while Tina and Gemma get closer over shared trauma, like when Gemma suffers a miscarriage. Given that the show has had 4 different showrunners (the original showrunner for seasons 1-3 was dismissed after reports of racially insensitive comments), it’s no surprise there are subtle tonal shifts throughout the series
The cast is pretty sprawling, as we also get to see the folks that Calvin interacts with outside the house, be it employees down at his shop, or old friends at the barbershop. Sometimes he brings Dave into these environments so that strangers can do the teasing as opposed to Calvin, who is now more protective of Dave. I also love the Butlers’ sons, Malcom and Marty. Malcom was on track to be a professional baseball player til he was sidelined by an injury, so he spends a lot of the series trying to figure out his next move in life. Marty, on the other hand, is the chubby, nerdy, unlucky-in-love son, and he’s probably one of my favorite characters on TV. He’s reminiscent of Andre Jr from Black-ish, but the big difference is how the characters are regarded by their fathers. Near the end of Black-ish, Anthony Anderson’s Dre started saying stuff like “I’m ashamed you’re my son.” It was played for laughs, but without a laugh track, and due to how common it was, it came off excessively mean. Here, however, Calvin just sort of sighs at Marty’s nerdy pursuits, while Tina is the one who’s scared they’re gonna keep him from giving her grandkids.
I was surprised how the show dealt with some pretty heavy issues, yet still managed to do it with humor. Dave served in Afghanistan, and now he helps counsel veterans who suffer from PTSD like him. I already mentioned Gemma’s miscarriage, and Tina was able to help her through it as she had experienced the same thing between the birth of her sons. There’s one episode, though, where they decide to get help for the neighborhood crackhead, and it includes one of the funniest sequences I’ve seen in quite some time. They’re trying to corner him to get him to go to rehab, and he’s doing parkour flips over the truck, and onto the roof. I laughed til I cried, and the episode still managed to tell an emotional story about that guy’s upbringing in the neighborhood, and how everyone wants to see him get some help.
Anyway, I had walked away from the show early in its run merely because it seemed propped up on “Black people do this, and white people do this“ humor. I’m glad, however, to learn that it eventually moved away from that, and has become a strong, entertaining series.
Run The Numbers
Can you believe I read another book?! I still haven’t decided if I’ll finish my KonMari journey, so I turned my focus to something that interests me more: boybands.
I randomly found this book where I find most of my books: on the shelf, at the thrift store. I knew it was what could be considered a “kids book”, but it didn’t seem to skew that young. It certainly wasn’t a YA novel, as those are usually called something like The Pandering or Twelve Nights Society, and they’re either about sick kids in love or pretty kids in love in a dystopian society. Anyway, when I finished reading it, I looked it up and it seems like it’s for an audience of 5th graders. Oh well, it was over 300 pages, so I’m counting it.
Written by Tom Nicoll, with the occasional illustration by David O’Connell, Boy Band of the Apocalypse is a fun little book featuring a kid who takes on an impossible task – ya know, like most youth literature. Man, they really set today’s kids up for failure, making them think they might one day actually make a difference in this unjust world! Anyway, Sam is a 14 year old who wants a new phone, so his parents have bribed him to take his little sister Lexi and her friend to a concert for Apocalips, which is the biggest boyband in the world. When he’s separated from them, he finds himself locked in a storage closet next to the band’s dressing room. Through a crack in the wall, he notices some strange altercation, where it appears that the group kills their lead singer, after declaring their master plan to destroy the world. So, Sam decides that it’s up to him to stop them – by auditioning to become their new lead singer, and destroying them from the inside. The only problem is that Sam can’t dance, nor can he sing. So, he relies on his best friend, shy genius Milo to come up with a plan.
The author clearly understands boyband tropes, like “There must always be five”, and you can tell that Apocalips is based on One Direction. I say this because it’s not obvious in the beginning, but the story is set in the UK. Honestly, this sort of changed my interpretation of everything. In the US, boybands seem to come every 10-15 years, while there’s more of an ebb and flow in Europe. Plus, if we’re discounting The Beatles, One Direction is the most successful UK boyband. And, given that Sam’s parents grew up with the Spice Girls, it helps to set the time period that Apocalips is either 1D or The Wanted. Milo has boiled the boyband formula down to Singing + Dancing + Haircut= Band. So, Sam has a week to work on these three areas before the auditions to replace the Apocalips lead singer in time for their big concert at Hyde Park, set to be the biggest concert in the world.
The thing I love about Middle Grades books is how the smallest, dumbest thing is the end of the world to the main characters. Here, however, it truly IS the literal end of the world. I mean, Sam, Milo, and Lexi are approaching it in Middle Grades fashion, but at least the stakes are worthwhile. Still, it starts out where the neighborhood bullies are basically the most evil thing Sam can think of, which is very “14 years old” of him. However, when he later discovers that there was actually more to them than he thought, it’s like his previous assessment had been justified. It’s a dumb plot that plays it as straight as a book for 5th graders can, but with a lot of humor and a moral. I really enjoyed it, and I just learned there’s a sequel that seems to be a send-up of reality television. I’m not hitting up Amazon for it anytime soon, but I’ll surely grab it if it shows up where I find all my fine reading material – between the pots & pans and the quilts.
Will Around The Web
So, last week I told you I did a Patreon-exclusive episode of Wizards The Podcast Guide To Comics. Well, you’ll be happy to know that a free preview of that ep has been made available on their feed, so you can enjoy 20 minutes of us talking about how Frank Quitely draws comic characters who look like they’ve sat in the tub too long.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
- David Del Rio was fired from CBS hit Matlock after reports that he sexually assaulted costar Leah Lewis.
- It’s the end of an era, as TiVo has ceased production of its standalone digital recorders. As a “genericized trademark”, many folks call all DVRs “TiVo”, but that’s because this one set the standard.
- Taylor Swift put the SmackDown on The Rock, as The Official Release Party of a Showgirl suplexed Johnson’s The Smashing Machine at the box office, which only earned $6M, giving him the worst release of his career.
- Savannah Guthrie is set to host a TV game show based on the New York Times Wordle game – which is funny, since a good portion of those players are the type of folks who can’t wait to tell you they don’t own a TV.
- Former Black Ranger Walter Emanuel Jones III is apparently a rapper now, going by “Tré Emanuel”
- Finally, actress Kimberly Hébert Gregory passed away at the age of 52. While all of the articles and obits are citing her role on HBO’s Vice Principals, I’d argue that her most famous role is as the voice of mom Nicole on Cartoon Network’s Craig of the Creek. I’ve written about how much that show meant to me, and I’m just glad she was able to see it through to its end.
She released a “movie” and an album, she turned fans into haters and haters into fans, and she beat The Rock. Taylor Swift had the West Week Ever. Have a great weekend, folks!
