OK, so I always say “I’m trying to avoid politics”, but I’m not so sure that’s going to be possible going forward. At the end of the day, everything is political, and I’m seeing more and more that I just feel I need to talk about, as I’m finding I’m not on the same page as a lot of folks, and I’m seriously trying to figure out if I’m the “wrong one”.
This week saw the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson in New York City, in broad daylight, outside of his hotel. And, in typical social media fashion, folks started firing off jokes. Some of them were clever, including a riff on Sex and the City that I, myself, reposted. However, I felt things went too far when the posts turned “Fuck Around and Find Out”. Seeing as how I primarily live on Bluesky these days, that’s where I saw the reactions. There’s quite the “Eat the Rich” mentality online to begin with, but it was a little unsettling to watch folks celebrating the assassination. Because that’s what this was: an assassination. And almost immediately, the same folks were basically saying this was clearly retaliation from some UnitedHealthcare member with a vendetta. When I woke up yesterday morning, I posted the following messages:
Folks over there seem to think it’s justified because of all the horrible things Thompson’s company has done. Look, I get it. From what I’ve gathered, UnitedHealthcare is probably the worst insurer out there, denying claims in pursuit of profit. That said, we are not our job. Thompson was the guy at the top, and he has to take the blame, but removing him from the equation doesn’t ultimately change much. The American healthcare system is designed to fuck you. We all want a “villain”, but this feels more like a systemic issue than the machinations of one average middle aged man. And, if he did make those decisions, did he deserve this? People want to say it’s “Karma”, but I think Karma would be if he’d gotten eaten by a shark while snorkeling in Fiji. It’s not being the victim of a hit carried out in public, on the street. I’m sure his two sons probably would have preferred the shark…
Something that really frightens me is how we’ve lost all sense of nuance in society, and I want to blame it on social media, merely because of the imposed character limits. I actually stopped discussing this very topic online, as I knew I was just feeding the “soundbite machine” with each successive post. The minute the reader gets to that first word that they don’t like, it’s game over. We never got great at “trimming the fat” of our arguments within character limits. Important aspects and viewpoints get left out, and everything becomes “Black” & “White”. During the election, certain folks loved to post “We can disagree and still be friends.” Sometimes they’d even cap it off with a smartass “…because I’m an adult.” And this was usually met with someone on the opposing side, retorting, “Sure, this makes sense if we’re talking about pineapple on pizza, but not when it comes to human rights.” What if I told you they’re both approaching it wrong? See, with the lack of nuance, we’ve also lost any sense of dynamics.
In music, dynamics are the way you would describe the ebb and flow of the melody. At certain points, the melody swells, but at others it is quiet, so as not to overreach. In today’s society, there are NO dynamics. Everything is treated with the same energy. It should be laughable to even equate pizza topping choice to something that could affect the fate of millions. However, we keep the same energy in all arguments. The MCU vs the DCEU inspires as much vitriol as Supreme Court nominations. Now, I know not everyone is interested in the day to day of American politics, and that’s probably for the best. But we’ve got to return to acknowledging which of this shit does and doesn’t matter.
There’s a lot of emphasis on “mental health”, and how you need to remove yourself from toxic spaces. The one thing these conversations always assume, however, is that leaving is actually possible. On social media, you can block to your heart’s content. You can make your follow lists and curate your feed. You can control your narrative and, somewhat, the audience that receives it. But this has really clouded how we get by in everyday life because the notion of compromise is DEAD. You will never agree with everything anyone says. You will never get a situation that is exactly what you want. We no longer know how to live in discomfort. Economically, sure. But socially? Nope. There have actually been a lot of articles about this, specifically regarding folks leaving Twitter. These have been received as you’d expect, with Bluesky folks saying there was no point in them staying in a place that seemingly didn’t want or protect them. And that makes all the sense in the world, as our participation on social media is voluntary. If you care about social media at all, then it behooves you to use it in the way that best benefits you. The problem, however, is Social Media Rules are bleeding over into Real Life Rules. You can post “If you voted for *fill in the blank*, then unfollow me”, but what happens when you get a doctor who also voted for *same blank filler*? Your loan officer? The one takeaway I had from this election is that there are more people with opposing viewpoints than I would have liked to assume. So, that means we’re not dealing with a “vocal minority”, but more so a silent majority. They might not be wearing a red hat, but that doesn’t mean they’re on your team. And I just feel we need to be careful with our intentional communication going forward.
I understand where the jokes came from. There are a LOT of people who are struggling, and have probably been hurt by Thompson’s policies and others like them. I’d say my biggest adult fear is being bankrupted by medical debt. And also the SuperFlu. That one carried over from childhood, but some shit doesn’t just go away. Anyway, I just feel like there’s such a desire for a revolution from a generation that ain’t built for it. People want the guillotines lined up so quickly, but don’t necessarily have the stomach for it. I’m just saying it’s fucked up how this was done. Yeah, I’ve read about the engraved bullets by now, but this doesn’t feel like a “righteous endeavor”. It just doesn’t. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want this to be how things are handled going forward. There’s a limit to “Fuck around and find out”, and when it’s being volleyed between 2 opposing camps, it’s just as bad as “An eye for an eye”, as everyone’s gonna end up blind. And, yeah, I heard about the anesthesia backdown from Anthem Blue Cross, but I still don’t feel like it had to get to this point. I spent years hearing The Left talk about how The Right was the “Fuck Your Feelings” Party, yet I don’t entirely see how celebrating a man’s killing is any better. Sure, The Left may feel justified here but, if we’re not careful, we’re going to become the thing we purport to hate. Or – and I hate to have to reckon with this – maybe we always were. Anyway, I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t think anyone really wants to hear this right now anyway. I’m not changing any minds, and probably just preaching to a small choir. Maybe one day we’ll look back and laugh at this while we’re swapping out clips “in the shit”…
Speaking of social media spilling into real life, there’s drama with my girl Haliey Welch, Ms. Hawk Tuah herself. Now, I’ve made no secret of my fascination with this woman, and I know it’s not really aligned with the interests of my fanbase. Here’s the thing: I’m struggling with getting older. The aches, the pains, and the constant quest to stay on top of an everchanging pop culture landscape. Also, with everything turning out to be a marketing campaign and/or influencer “collab”, I’m having a lot of trouble determining what’s “real” anymore. You laugh, but this is the elder millennial version of our grandparents falling for telemarketing schemes. One thing that has always bothered me about my mom is how she doesn’t readily trust anything or anyone. Everyone has an angle. Growing up, it was annoying, but it has either become one of those “You’ll understand when you’re older” things, or my genetic paranoia is manifesting itself, because I GET IT. In our climate of disinformation, everything is affected, on down to our entertainment. These days, it’s common for me to say “I’ve reached an age where I believe both everything and nothing.” And, for whatever reason, I’ve chosen Haliey Welch as my ultimate test.
If you don’t remember, Welch went viral because she was caught in one of those late night, post-club videos, where she was asked “What’s a move that drives a man wild in bed?” She answered, “You gotta give him that ‘hawk tuah!’ and spit on that thang!” Regular readers will remember that I actually somehow missed her the week all this happened, so I was late to the boat. Almost overnight, everyone was talking about her, and The Machine moved quickly. Pretty soon, she was making public appearances at sporting events and concerts, and she was prepping her podcast, Talk Tuah. I’ve also talked about how much I love her podcast, mainly due to her authenticity. Upon listening to the show, you find out that she’s not this brazen party girl that folks assumed. Instead, she’s a simple country girl, whose mom was a drug addict, so she was raised by her granny. Folks took her video to mean she was some kind of promiscuous woman, when she comes off more like the fantastical Southern woman who might say “I love on my man hard.” She’s a one-woman man. In fact, the inability to find men who’ve succumbed to the Hawk Tuah have led to some conspiracies theories, such as her being a Mossad agent.
The funny thing about the podcast, however, is she has found herself thrust into the Influencer Space, so all of her guests are fellow podcasters, but those cut from different cloth. Most of her guests are those female influencers who profess their desire to “fuck like men do”! There are all these big city, sex-positive women who actually seem to make Haliey somewhat uncomfortable. At the same time, the guests seem disappointed when they discover she’s not the party girl that we’d all been led to believe she was. I feel like every episode has an awkward moment where the guest kind of insults Haliey, and she just sort of takes it in stride. They might say something like “Wow, I’ve never met anyone as ‘country’ as you! Where are you from? Tennessee? How far are you from Nashville? Oh, that’s FAR!” It’s these interactions that further ensconce me in her corner, as you sort of want to defend her, and hope she curses out the Mean Girl sitting next to her. Because she’s the type of gal who would.
Right now, however, she hasn’t crossed that line because she has handlers. Jake Paul, to be exact. Yeah, that douchebag. You see, it’s his Betr gambling app that sponsors her podcast. In fact, her show really exists merely to be a promotional tool for the app. He’s dropped by the show, and proceeded to treat her like shit, but she took it, because he’s The Boss. Here’s why that’s problematic. First off, all of her guests have, in some way, come via Paul. She was at the Paul vs Tyson fight, so she did a slew of interviews that week, with Mark Cuban (the Paul brothers used to email him for business advice when they were kids) and Jake himself. He even gets out an awkward Kamala dig in the episode. Meanwhile, Haliey continues to absentmindedly alienate everyone who is supposedly embracing her. The Influencer Girlies treat her like a pet, while she allegedly might have beef with Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy. It’s these factors that make me think not only is she authentic, but she’s also being set up to take a fall.
American pop culture loves to build someone up to tear them down, and it was only a matter of time for her. I mean, if we’re not still talking about Carmen Elektra, there was no way Hawk Tuah was gonna run for Congress or anything. She knew she’d only have the proverbial “15 minutes of fame”, and she’s had a blast. She made some money, met some celebs, and she’s done a lot of good work for animal rescues. But something happened this week that signaled the beginning of the end: She released her own celebrity cryptocurrency, called Hawk Coin. Now, I spent a good hour last week trying to educate myself on crypto, and I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. If she’s who I think she is, then she doesn’t have a clue what the fuck’s going on, either. Well, folks are LIVID because the ones who bought in lost all of their money, and they want Haliey to go to jail for scamming them. When $HAWK was first released, a “sniper” (eBay folks will understand that term) swooped in and acquired 96% of the tokens. Apparently, they were able to quickly sell these for a profit of $3.7 million. After that, the value dropped precipitously, leaving folks “holding the bag”. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that the sniper was somehow associated with Jake Paul, who’s no stranger to crypto scams. Which would make this quite the Long Con, but not in the way most expected. Haliey was just a prop, and not even in on it. I’ve always felt like the Pauls are what folks think Elon is. Whereas he’s just sad and insecure, they are actually shrewd businessmen who don’t seem like great guys. They’re that kind of “bad” where you can really only blame their parents, as they’ve been assholes since before they could drive.
Anyway, I hope this doesn’t affect her too much, and she can return to her quiet life in the sticks. Who knows? Maybe she’ll one day rise from the ashes like a super sexy goth phoenix, just like Rebecca Black!
Will Around The Web
Adam and I wrapped up Thanksgiving by taking a look at the ’80s mainstay Mama’s Family. We cover everything from the character’s roots on The Carol Burnett Show to its later success in first-run syndication.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
- Peacock announced that the Fresh Prince reimagining Bel Air would be ending with its upcoming fourth season.
- British actor Paapa Essiedu is rumored to be the frontrunner to be cast as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter streaming series. Oh, I should have said Black British actor Paapa Essiedu. Yeah… As a wise man once said, “Hold on to ya butts!”
- So, there was some social media drama, where the many behind the MuppetsHistory accounts was revealed to have been inappropriately messaging women in the DMs. And it played out as you would expect. Look, I’m all about accountability, but we do need to be careful with these pile-ons, if the Ed Piskor situation taught us anything…
- I guess the T-Mobile water has run dry, just like Boyz II Men warned us, as there are serious talks of a Scrubs revival being developed at ABC. Brace yourselves for the “Guy Love” Reprise!
- We’ve been asking for years, and it appears our prayers are about to be answered: McDonald’s USA president Joe Erlinger confirmed to Good Morning America that the Snack Wrap will make its return in 2025!
- Flavor Flav knew what time it was when he dropped by the dressing of the Backstreet Boys to hang out prior to their performance on the NBC Christmas at Rockefeller Center special. Apparently, NBC security asked him to leave, but not before asking him to provide content for NBC’s social media channels!
Regular readers already know about my love of Cartoon Network’s Teen Titans Go! I discovered that show almost a decade ago, and it was “appointment television” to me for years until the network started getting froggy with the scheduling. Originally, when there were new episodes, they would be rolled out nightly within a given week. At some point, coming out of Covid, CN decided they were gonna try to “reclaim” Saturday morning. How you gonna debut stuff one day a week when you’ve got 6 others to program?! Anyway, I fell off at that point, as I was too lazy to DVR it, and it was too hard keeping track. You’d get a new episode one Saturday morning, and then the next new one would be something like 6 weeks later. Ain’t nobody got time for that! So, we grew apart. I was brought back in, however, when I saw that they were approaching their 400th episode. It aired last Saturday morning, and it was a Must Watch for me. I’m glad to say that it did not disappoint.
If you’re unfamiliar with the show, Teen Titans Go! debuted in 2013, and is something of a parody. It follows the members of the DC Comics super team The Teen Titans, but portrays them as a bunch of underachieving slacker. Led by tightly wound Robin, they desperately want to be taken seriously by their peers, yet they’re too easily distracted by shiny things. The beauty of the show, however, is its sometimes scathing critique of pop culture, while being allowed to play in the official DC Comics toybox – something usually not allowed by the notoriously stuffy and corporate Warner Bros. Even as David Zaslav took over, burning everything in his path, he seemingly hasn’t realized what they’re doing, off in their corner of the Warner Bros portfolio. There are some true gems in those 399 episodes, from the 5-part 80s power ballad tribute “The Night Begins To Shine” to the brilliant takedown of Stranger Things, “Nostalgia Is Not a Substitute for an Actual Story”. You don’t even have to know the DC Universe to enjoy it, but it makes it so much more of a “meal” if you’re familiar with it. It’s a show that takes a lot of chances, and experiments with storytelling – all behind fart jokes and songs about waffles.
For episode 400, the show returned to the awards show concept. A common theme in the series – especially for milestone episodes – is the team is invited to a competition with the rest of the DC Universe, and they usually leave empty-handed, dismayed to have not received recognition from their peers. Sometimes it’s a dance contest, sometimes it’s for a spot on the Justice League roster. Regardless of the prize, the Titans always lose. Well, in this ep, they end up finally winning an award: Longest Running DC TV series. And this, surprisingly, pisses off SUPERMAN. Yes, him. I love how the show is willing to cast “heroes” in a negative light, as it was one of the first modern cartoons to depict Santa as a straight up asshole (right along with American Dad). Well, Superman gets that treatment here, and he banishes the team to another universe, in an attempt to destroy their show. The team find themselves in the Stop Motion Universe, which is considered the most expensive form of animation. They discover that Superman’s plan is for them to go over budget, which will cause the network to finally cancel the show. So, we end up with the next 20 minutes animated completely in stop motion, which is such a departure for the show. It’s jarring, but not bad. Visually, it was stunning enough to let the viewer know that they were watching something special, but probably would lose its luster if the show permanently switched to that format. Well, the final act culminates in a Sentai mech battle, with guys in robot suits fighting in the middle of a cardboard city. Yup, it’s exactly how it sounds, and it was GLORIOUS! Teen Titans Go! doesn’t miss!
I’m not gonna completely blow sunshine up the show’s ass, as it was nowhere near the funniest episode of the series (and there have been some HILARIOUS ones), but it’s certainly going to be one of the most memorable. So, for celebrating its 400th episode, Teen Titans Go! had the West Week Ever.
