I know I was supposed to write about my Walt Disney World thoughts at some point, but I just didn’t get around to it. Maybe next week? Hell, let’s just do it now.
I went to Orlando for training on the student information system we use at work. On the second night of the event, we were given passes to go to the Disney park of our choice. Since I’d never been before, I decided to go with the Magic Kingdom. Let me just say that I didn’t know how magical it would be, right down to the entrance gate. The “tickets” are actually more like gift cards, and then they fingerprint you with some kind of bioscanner as you walk through. I thought I was going to an amusement park, not hacking into NORAD! You enter right onto Main Street, and the afternoon parade was in full swing.
My friend, Mary, and I decided to hit Space Mountain first, since it was one of the four things I simply had to experience (the other three being Pirates of the Caribbean, It’s a Small World, and The Haunted Mansion).
-Space Mountain would’ve been more exciting had it not been for the 2-hour wait. 2 hours for a 3 minute ride?! No, thank you! I didn’t realize that this was my first rollercoaster ride since getting my latest pair of glasses, so I spent most of the ride trying to keep them from flying off my face. It was kinda cool, however, that they had games stationed throughout the line to give you something to do while you wait. Luckily, I did Space Mountain first, so it kinda tempered my expectations for the rest of the park.
-They really need to update Tomorrowland, as the music they played sounded like the St. Elsewhere theme.
After the arduous wait for Space Mountain, I was scared that all of the lines would be like that. We had arrived at the park at around 6, and we would only have until 12:30 before the bus went back to the hotel. Seeing as how I’d wasted 1/3 of my time waiting for ONE ride, it wasn’t looking good for the home team! Mary thought that It’s a Small World would be clear around dinner time, so that’s where we went next.
She was right, as the wait for It’s a Small World was only 10 minutes. Sure, it may not be the most exciting ride, but it’s still interesting. People say that the song gets into your head and doesn’t get out, but I didn’t seem to have that problem. Ha! I’m immune! Oh no…as I type this, it’s creeping into my brain! “It’s a small world after all…”
After traveling the world, so to speak, we decided to head toward The Haunted Mansion. Let’s just say I was disappointed, but it wasn’t really the fault of the ride. You see, when I thought about The Haunted Mansion, I was really thinking of The Tower of Terror. I didn’t realize they were two different things. So, I went in totally expecting the wrong thing. I kept expecting the drop, but instead I just toured around, looking at holographic ghosts. It’s not a bad attraction, but it just wasn’t what I expected.
After The Haunted Mansion, we decided to check out Pirates of the Caribbean but we got blocked by the night parade. We kept trying to navigate around it, but kept running into it. Finally, we were able to cross at a point, and get across to Adventureland for Pirates of the Caribbean. If ya ask me, this ride is just the pirate version of The Haunted Mansion. I have no idea how they made movies based on this ride, as I didn’t know what the Hell was going on. It’s just lots of yelling and pirate songs. Keep in mind, I’ve never seen any of the movies, so maybe that’s what they’re like, as well.
One thing that really bothered me was that there were no characters walking around. In any medium, when you see Disney World, you see folks getting their pictures taken with people in costumes. Maybe they were getting ready for the parades, but I never saw anyone in a character costume who wasn’t on a float. I wanted my picture taken with Goofy, but I guess it wasn’t to be 🙁
The entire time at the park, I REALLY wanted a hot dog. I don’t typically crave them, but there was something about cow lips and other assorted parts that sounded tantalizing to me. Do you know how hard it is to find a hot dog at Disney after a certain time of day? I mean, it wasn’t late night yet, but I couldn’t find one anywhere. There were turkey legs, popcorn carts, and cinnamon-covered almond stands, but no hot dogs. And the parade kept thwarting my efforts. Finally, we made our way to Casey’s on Main Street, which sold nothing but hot dogs. Salvation!
Since I didn’t get to see Goofy, I had to settle for stopping into his candy store in downtown Disney.
Couldn’t hit downtown Disney without going to the LEGO Store!
Another weird thing about Disney is that there’s no gum to be had anywhere on the property. Mary tried to get gum at the airport, and was told that Orlando is essentially gum-free. I guess that helps them keep the place clean, but it’s so odd that gum is something they’d outlaw.
Anyway, what did I think of the Magic Kingdom overall? I had fun, but I think I’m too old for Disney World. I really needed to experience it at a younger age in order to feel the “magic” about the place. I think the perfect age to take kids would be when they’re under 7, so they can ride things like the teacups, but they aren’t old enough for the rides that are eligible for a FastPass. I know there are adults who go to Disney on their own, and I just don’t get that. The crowds, the activity, the noise – I’d only want to endure that for the sake of children. So, I had fun, but I think I’ll have more fun one day with my heirs. Yup, that’s what I’m calling them for now.
I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars, but I found something interesting about this season’s cast. You see, DJ Tanner (Candace Cameron Bure) and Winnie Cooper (Danica McKeller) are contestants on the show, but it also seems they have some history together. Apparently, Candace used to date Jeremy Miller from Growing Pains – who proceeded to dump her for Danica. Cold! Anyway, Danica didn’t know she had broken up the relationship until the two spoke at dance practice, all these years later. I wonder if Jeremy’s fiancee knows that story…
Apparently, there’s a Jem movie in the works. If there isn’t a role in it for Lady Gaga, it’s dead on arrival. Honestly, I’m not sure why anyone is taking this seriously. John Chu is attached to direct, but he was also gonna do the Masters of the Universe reboot, but dropped out of that project. I think he just likes being linked to 80s properties, but I’ll believe this when I see it.
Peanuts does as little for me as The Muppets, but I know some of you are fans. I’m curious to see how this whole 3-D style turns out for it. I actually really like the new look, so maybe this is just what I needed to finally be interested in this property.
Cory’s parents and Shawn Hunter are gonna be on a holiday episode of Girl Meets World! Can this show just air already?
Speaking of TV, if you like your zombie shows edited, you’re in luck. MyNetworkTV just picked up the rights to broadcast edited episodes of The Walking Dead next fall. Since they’re edited for “broadcast standards”, look for a lot of the gore to be taken out. I’m curious to see how “The Neutered Dead” does in syndication. I don’t watch the show, but I can’t wait for some mom in flyover country to lose her shit when she stumbles across it one Saturday evening.
NBC renewed Parks & Recreation this week, while the jury’s still out on Community. It’s kinda sad it wasn’t the other way around, as Parks & Rec has done a pretty good job of wrapping things up this season. To watch it, it felt like a show that knew it was on the way out. I don’t know what they’re gonna do with what’s essentially a “bonus” season for them. Law & Order: SVU also wasn’t on the renewal list, but it’s probably due to contract negotiations. I mean, NBC wouldn’t kill off SVU so soon after getting rid of the main show…would they? Hell, who knows what NBC execs are thinking anymore?
ABC continued killing any momentum Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. might have gained by essentially airing a 1-hr DVD featurette where Marvel patted itself on the back for creating a cohesive cinematic universe. It was an interesting special, and it was nice to look back and see how it all came together. Still, I think it would’ve been more fitting on the Captain America: The Winter Soldier Blu-Ray instead of using valuable airtime.
Last weekend, I had the pleasure of joining my pal James (@SnoopyJenkins) and David Walker for a chat on race in comics and comic media. You can check out part one here:
Links I Loved
Meet Ryan Tedder, the Secret King of Pop Who Doesn’t Look at Royalty Checks – Billboard
LoeB Post: “Why Did I Buy That?!” – Crooked Ninja Turtle Gang
18 Reasons You Should Be Watching ‘The Goldbergs’ on ABC – UnderScoopFire!
Star Trek Problems: He Deserves It – The Robot’s Pajamas
The 10 Worst Movies Ever (According to Battle Armor Joe) – UnderScoopFire!
They can’t all be winners, and this week proves it. No one had the West Week Ever. Hell, there weren’t even finalists. Ultimately, The Muppets will probably end the week on a positive note, as Muppets Most Wanted is released today, and I know how y’all love your Muppets. Still, the movie’s not out yet, and it might (though chances are slim) bomb. So, nobody gets the WWE honor this week. Maybe things will be more exciting next week. Maybe they’ll even find that plane!
Jeremy Miller’s fiancee will find this. She just will.
Quite the West Week Ever! Glad you had a good time at Disney, something everyone should experience at least once. I always found Tomorrowland to have a lot of charm because of how dated it is.
Thanks for the include in the links section!
Mmmm… Divorce has been kind to Danica
Did Agents of SHIELD get renewed? Also, I actually don’t think SVU will get renewed. If you’ve been watching the recent season, it’s down to Benson as the SVU sergeant, with only 3 sad detectives who kind of hate her working under her. That show is so understaffed, it seems pretty obvious they’re not trying to add people to the cast.
Glad you had a great time at Disney World, and the podcast was fantastic! Great edition of WWE!
I think you kinda got cheated on your first WDW experience with only having a limited time, but you did hit the “major” rides. I’ve never gone with kids and I’ve been quite a few times, we love going there. The characters very rarely walk the park anymore, you have to know where and when they’ll be.
They only somewhat recently started using the fingerprint scanning for the parks. The new “Magic Bands” are basically wearable tickets that have all your info on them. We went to the Be Our Guest restaurant and placed our order online the night before. We showed up for our reservation and were told to find a table in any of the 3 dining available dining areas. About 15 minutes after we were seated and got drinks, our exact food arrived at the table without us telling anyone there what we were having or what table we’d be at. It’s a pretty cool use of the tech to create a little magic.
@Howie – you just know she’s gonna see it. And she’ll probably try to say that he ended up with the best choice or some junk like that.
@Cody – you’re probably right about Tomorrowland’s charm. They’ve updated it as best they could with Stitch stuff, but it’s still pretty 80s. I don’t think I’d like a “true” depiction of the future, so they can play all the St. Elsewhere they want!
@Mike – I forgot Winnie Cooper’s divorced. I’ve never understood her appeal. Not as a child, not now. Candace Cameron has aged well, but she’d probably hand me a Chick Tract and tell me about Jesus.
@Jenn – AoS hasn’t been renewed yet, but I think it’s a safe bet. I never saw it as a show that would last a long time. They say they have a two year plan, and I really think it’s just the bridge to Avengers 2. Once the two years are done, I think they will have accomplished what they set out to do. Is Ice-T gone from SVU now?! Glad you liked the podcast, and thanks for listening!
@Dex – I definitely got cheated, as I needed a full day to really enjoy myself. I’m glad I was able to hit everything I set out to see, but it all felt so rushed. I wish I could’ve seen more of that tech magic, ’cause the fingerprint scanner blew my mind!
Sorry to hear about the lines you encountered at Disney. All the rides have a thing where you can scan your card and it gives you a time you can come back and skip the line. So you walk around the park and scan your card anywhere there’s a line and you end up with lots of options later. No extra cost.
I’m a huge fan of WDW and Magic Kingdom in particular. Space Mountain ranks among my top rides in the park, unfortunately the only way to do it anymore is via FastPass. The attention to detail in the parks gets lost on the kids, but you walk around the park and find that it is just so damn clean and every staff member is there to assist you in any way possible. Mrs. Doubledumbass and I are planning on taking the twins in the fall.
Great post as always, Mr. West. Not much I can add to the WDW experience. I am a big fan of the parks, it really is the happiest place on Earth. Its too bad you were limited by time.
Will anyone go see Jem? Does it even have a paying audience? My wife was a huge fan but I can’t see her schedule a ladies night that includes a screening of this when it comes out.
Those new Magic Bands are also able to track you as you move through the park. You can opt out of that if you want to though 🙂
They act as a room key if you stay on property, hold your FastPass and dining reservations and probably some other stuff they’re not even mentioning.