XM Marks The Spot

So, in Marty McFly fashion, I’ve gone back to the future – 2004, and finally got SiriusXM. I had a a 3-month trial when I bought my car a few months back, but never set it up. Then, one of their reps caught me on a good day, and talked me into a deal that would extend the trial. I gave some random stranger my credit card number to extend a service I wasn’t even using. God bless America! In any case, I was on the way to a Craigslist deal, and noticed that I hadn’t set up my OnStar OR my XM/Sirius. I had nothing better to do, so I placed the call and got the ball rolling. AND IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE! Why did no one tell me that “cable radio” was so great?! I don’t care about the fact that it’s commercial free (most of the time). Just the random selection of songs is amazing to me.

For those not “in the know”, if you can think it, there’s a satellite radio station for it. Some are pretty straight forward: 50s on 5, 60s on 6, 70s on 7, 80s on 8, and so on. Hell, there’s probably Tourettes Russians Sing Elvis. I dunno, I haven’t gotten into the high numbers yet. Then, there’s my current favorite, which can’t really be named in polite conversation. OK, it’s called Rawdog Uncensored Comedy. Ya see, a “rawdog” is when you don’t cook the dog thoroughly. Lately, I’ve been getting a kick out of listening to comics as they bomb. Comedians will tell you this – you can learn a lot from a bomb. Last night, Upright Citizens Brigade presented Mark Spitz’s Hanukkah Spectacularah, and it was BRUTAL. That was the WORST crowd ever, and it was delightful to listen to the comics react to that.

But let’s not forget the music! The other night on the drive home, I was presented with the following song order on 90s on 9:

OH MY GOD!!! Someone please tell me the algorithm they’re using. I mean, how do you get that playlist? That right there is Schlock & Awe, and I LOVE IT! They even played the Left Eye verse from “Waterfalls”. You know how long it’s been since I’ve heard the Left Eye verse? “At Work Radio” stations always edit it out. Speaking of “Waterfalls”, what the fuck is that HIV verse about? None of those words make sense. And remember when people weren’t sure whether to bang Fiona Apple or give her a sandwich? OR BOTH?! SO MANY MEMORIES!!!

I love satellite radio SO much, and I don’t know what I did before it. Lord only knows how much all this is gonna cost once the trial is over, but I’ll do whatever I have to. I don’t even like to get out of my car anymore. Has there been an Intervention episode about this? If not, I’m gonna make history. Vive la radio satellite (in foreigner speak, you’ve gotta reverse the natural order of words. I think. I quit French 15 years ago…)!