Failure To Launch: My Stillborn Parody Account

So, I don’t think it’s any secret that I’m trying to find my niche lately. I think a lot of websites like to put on bravado, acting like they get a ton of page hits, but I’ve never been that guy. I’ll be honest with ya: I don’t even check my Google Analytics, as I know it’s not worth it. For me to check my stats would be the equivalent of checking your mail when all you ever get is junkmail. I think I’m good at letting you in on my thought process, and giving you a glimpse as to “how the sausage is made”. I turned my focus to this question: How could I expand my online brand? There are memes, but I have neither the patience nor the graphics software to pull those off. There are podcasts, but if people won’t read me on a regular basis, why would they listen to me? Plus, I don’t want the added responsibility of yet another thing to have to maintain (I can honestly say that I don’t want a podcast. I do, however, enjoy guesting on them. I’ve said that I want to be the equivalent of the 80s standup comic who makes the talk show rounds, but continually refuses a starring vehicle of his own). What else do people like? Parody twitter accounts. Or so I thought. This is the story of how I screwed the pooch in the parody game.

I honestly couldn’t tell you when it all began. I’d actually always hated parody accounts, as they tend to be created due to some particular moment in time, and the joke gets dated FAST. Whether it’s @bindersofwomen, @angelinasleg or @fuckyoupenguin, these are all concepts that will be forgotten until Mo Rocca or Frangelina bring them up on a future edition of I Love The ’10s. So, instead of jumping on a bandwagon, I needed to go for a timeless concept. I was impressed by UnderScoopFire’s parody account for Aaron Neville, appropriately (especially to avoid prosecution) titled @NotAaronNeville. They’d really given a humorous voice to a figure who’s known for his stature, voice, and scars, but not his humor. I think I got kinda jealous of that, and in a Twitter conversation, I one day mentioned that I’d “rather talk to @SenileStan”. No, I don’t remember the context. I’m a really bad historian. I just remember my side of the conversation, because I am a narcissist (did you READ the name of the site?). But I got the same sensation Ben Franklin must’ve felt when he invented the electric chair – Stan Lee is old, has an interesting view of his own history, and is known for being over the top. What would happen if he were going senile (it’s still OK to laugh at senility, now that the world has Alzheimer’s)? So, I immediately secured the @SenileStan Twitter account and began to friend anyone and everyone who seemed interested in comics (except comics professionals – oddly enough, as much as I wanted attention, I was still kinda scared some industry pro would rip me a new one for mocking Stan and/or the possibility he might be losing his mind). Little did I realize that creating the account would be the easiest part. I guess it’s like conception – sex is easy, but raising that kid is HARD.

It started off funny enough. My first tweet was:

I was proud of that tweet. It was a little randy, a little edgy. The kinda thing your drunk grandpa might say. As time went on, though, I realized I kinda backed myself into a corner. Without knowing much about Stan (as much as we know, we don’t know much. His anecdotes change with the tides), I found myself deviating into a “lecherous old man” archetype, while trying to find ways to link it to Marvel. The main themes were that he was a pervert, with a selective memory, who was always running from death. I also wasn’t very prolific with the account. If I’d done more bombs, then I probably would’ve ended up with more hits, but I tended to only sign into that account when inspiration struck, which was rare. There were a few of my favorite tweets:

Now, a couple things happened here. Or didn’t happen. First off, no one wondered who was behind the account. It’s a known fact that whenever a parody count takes the world by storm, everyone’s scrambling to be the one to introduce the world to the face behind the account. I’m not sure if nobody knew it was me, or if they just didn’t care. Like, maybe I thought I was being sneaky, and folks were just saying to themselves, “Oh, I see Will’s blowing through all the Z-material over on the Stan account.” I mean, I was communicating with the same folks I normally do, and the “voice” wasn’t much different. I’m like the guy who falls asleep still in drag; I was just BEGGING to be outed. Plus, I slipped up a few times, and tweeted links to Will’s World of Wonder items from that account. While that didn’t immediately implicate me, there are only 2 other people on twitter who regularly tweet my links (@coldslitherpod and @lamarrevenger – thanks, guys!), neither of them is a parody account.

Then, real life happened. Just like “real life” can spawn a parody account, it can also kill one. Or drive the nail into the coffin. You see, a few weeks ago, Stan canceled all of his convention appearances, and news started circulating that his health was poor. People were being secretive, so we didn’t know how bad the situation might be. What was I to do? Luckily, I wasn’t sitting on any A-Material, but I still wondered if the site would be in poor taste. A mere 2 weeks later, we found out that Stan got a pacemaker, and he went back to making that money. Crises averted. Until last Friday.

While scanning my timeline, as I am wont to do, I noticed an RT of @BizarroStanLee. Not only did he have the same “voice” of my account, but he also used the same damn avatar. Oh, hell naw! Then, I noticed that the account had over 1,000 followers. Game, blouses. As the great Kenny Rogers said (ya know, before he messed his face up with plastic surgery) “Know when to walk away”. I have no problem doing something creative and not getting a ton of credit for it (you’re looking at proof of that), but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna look like some kinda copycat. I clearly lost that battle, and it’s not like it was my best work, anyway. It was a good learning experience, and it was fun feeling like I was being all sneaky. So, @senilestan’s final message to the world was this nugget:

I tend to hate when people make a big deal of deleting their social media accounts. It’s like the villain who gives a soliloquy before the killing blow. Just fucking do it already! However, I believe it was the great Depeche Mode, who said “things like this make me sick, and in a case like this I’ll get away with it.”

Le Senile Stan Est Morte! Vive Le Senile Stan!