Off To See The Wizard…

So, in an effort to sort out my junk room, I decided that I could probably start with my longbox of Wizard publications. I quickly tired of being reminded of Wetworks and Vampirella books, so I decided to focus on my issues of Toyfare instead. For those not really “in the know”, Toyfare was a monthly magazine published by the fine folks who also gave the world Wizard: The Guide to Comics (which later rebranded itself as a “Men’s Pop Culture Magazine”, whatever that means). Anyway, Wizard used to highlight toys, but as the industry ramped up, there was too much to report than the meager 2 pages in Wizard allowed, so the toy focus was spun off into its own magazine. At its best, Toyfare gave an in-depth look at fan favorite toy lines. At its worst, it was a glorified toy catalog. To be honest, “glorified” doesn’t even fit, as regular toy catalogs at least listed prices – something Toyfare couldn’t be bothered to do in many cases. Anyway, while flipping through the pages, a few thoughts came to mind, and I figured I’d share them here.

-What happened to Palisades Toys? I was never a Muppets fan, but I could respect that they truly paid attention to detail in making those Muppets toys.

-Diamond Select should’ve been run out of business for those horrible Serenity figures. I’ve actually said this to DST staffers. They like to change the subject when that line is brought up. I’m no Serenity fan, but I know a slap in the face when I see it.

-Did Hasbro ever present a use for those Jedi Master points?

-Is bbi still around? I remember they used to make those awesomely detailed solider dolls. Sometimes they’d use a Hollywood likeness without ever really securing the rights. So, instead of a Saving Private Ryan doll, it’d be a “World War II Officer” with a Tom Hanks face or something.

-An issue from 2002 stated that we had a better shot of seeing a Thundercats revival before a true G.I. Joe renaissance. Huh.

-The book REALLY started to suck when they took a parody approach to the articles. It was cute for the April Fools issue, but for a good  3 years every article in the book was like a Robot Chicken skit. While Robot Chicken showed that approach could be funny, it just gets tired in print.

-I wonder how many of the toys previewed in Toyfare actually NEVER came to fruition. I know for a fact that King of the Hill Series 2 never came out. That was when everyone wanted to jump on the interactive soundchip playset bandwagon, but I guess Toycom realized they couldn’t swing it.

-When they started posting the Complete Photo Guides to toy lines, that made the magazine worth the price of admission.

-Near the end, they were just reprinting the movie articles from Wizard, seeing as how comic movies also tended to have toylines.

-I never realized how many 80s Toy Quizzes they published. That magazine survived an extra 3 years just by jerking off fans to fantasies of a M.A.S.K. revival.

Culling the ranks of the Toyfare stash didn’t take much time, so then I cam back around for the herculean task of weeding out the Wizards. After all, I had a complete run for about 10 years or so. Along the way, I noticed a few interesting things:

-Where is Christina Z these days? For those not in the know, she was the first woman to make Wizard’s Top 10 Writers List, and she used to write Witchblade back when it was all T&A. That way, whenever someone criticized it for being a T&A book, Top Cow could protest, “No, it’s written by a woman!” Her last publicized work was Jenna Jameson’s Shadow Hunter. I bet that wasn’t a T&A book at all…

-Paula Cole should sing “Where have all the CCGs gone?”

-I don’t want anything to do with J. Scott Campbell until he finishes Wildsiderz.

-Brandon Jerwa started his career on G.I. Joe with a fan submission

-I had no idea Fox has been using the “Animation Domination” name for its Sunday block since 2005!

-Broken Promises: Bryan Singer’s Ultimate X-Men arc

-Broken Promises: Jeff Loeb & J. Scott Campbell’s Spidey title

-Broken Promises: When Bendis left The Pulse, he said it would continue with another writer. This didn’t happen.

-Yay! Kubert’s on Batman. Surely, he’ll have a long run on this book!

-In ’03, J.Scott Campbell went exclusive with DC. Can anyone name what came from that? Anyone? No, because NOTHING came from that contract.

-Why did they stop making DC Minimates?

-There was actually an article called “Treasured Chests”, where they compared the cleavage of Talia Al Ghul, Power Girl, and some Wildstorm chick.

-Kia Asamiya. Yes, I get that everyone had Manga Fever, but WHO THE FUCK PUT HIM ON X-MEN?!!!

-Broken Promises: Loeb & Lee’s promised post-Hush 6-issue arc on Batman.

-Before they diversified their brand with Pilot Season, Top Cow was pretty much just, “Hey, kids! Tits!”

-After Chaos went under, Lady Death went to the Code 6 imprint at Crossgen. Now, she’s at Avatar, under the Boundless imprint. Lady Death: She Doesn’t Just LOOK Like The Village Bicycle!

-There was an Olympic ad in the March 2002 issue. Like, a real brand, and not some e-store or superhero-inspired motorcycle jackets. The actual Olympics, with the athletes and shit. SO out of place.

-Chaos allowed fans to serve as associte editors on books. They spun it as “interaction”, but it was really just cheap labor. They went under soon afterwards.

-Only in 2002 could Joe Mad make the Top 10 Most Influential Artists List. He ranked higher than Sienkiewicz!!!

-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was supposed to take over Amazing Spider-Man, and JMS was to move over to a new book. Smith also said in interviews that he only agreed if they would allow him to reunite MJ and Peter.

-Broken Promises: Kevin Smith was also announced as the writer of a new iteration of Brave and the Bold just before signing an exclusive with Marvel.

-Based on the number of articles, Fathom “returned” about 12 times, but never actually finished.

-Top Cow has been streamlining its universe since 2001, with no end in sight. The first event, Universe, made Tomb Raider & Fathom part of TC canon…interesting, seeing as how both properties are no longer under the TC umbrella.

-Where is Devin Grayson? Did her career end at the same time as her relationship with Mark Waid?

-I think the best depiction of Rogue was the promo image to her Icons mini. She’s strong and athletic – believably 19 (which is the age she’s rumored to be), and not a busty, 30-something skunkhead.

-Alicia Witt would’ve been a MUCH better Mary Jane in the Spider-Man movies.

-Instead of rushing to reprint them, Bill Jemas put the Ultimate titles online, 12 pages at a time, to “reward the readers and retailers who jumped on the Ultimate bandwagon at the beginning, thus making those initial issues all the more valuable.” – 2001

-In 2001, Poison Elves creator Drew Hayes signed an unprecedented 50 year deal with Sirius Entertainment. While this was clearly a publicity stunt, Drew would pass away in 2007.

-Casting Call: Geoff Johns cast Heath Ledger as Wally West and Owen Wilson as Trickster.

-Issue #110’s letter column only featured mail sent by prisoners.

-They used to have a column called “oops…” where they made corrections to previous stories. This was phased out in later years, as the entire magazine became one giant collection of typos and mistakes.

-Broken Promises: Top Cow got the A-Team rights in 2000. Did nothing with them.

-Did America ever get Bandai’s handheld system, the WonderSwan Color?

-They were REALLY pushing for Brendan Fraser to be Superman, as they cast him in 3 different Casting Call articles over the years.

-Casting Call: Tom Selleck as Tony Stark, Kevin Sorbo as Thor, and Howie Long as Cap. This would’ve been fine…in 1990. They also cast Howie Long as Duke in G.I. Joe. Wizard really liked Howie Long.

-The same character was named “Venus”, “Sexbot”, and finally “Aphrodite IX”

-Finally, back when DC did the whole Superman Red/Blue thing, a few high profile artists were asked to redesign Superman’s iconic suit. One of those artists happened to be Jim Lee. Looks like he’s been married to that high-collar design for quite some time…

 

 

So, what were your favorite Toyfare/Wizard memories?

Share

4 thoughts on “Off To See The Wizard…

  1. To (blithely) answer your questions:

    Palisades aimed a bit too high, paying too much for licenses with limited appeal. Rustin did a whole write-up of it at the time.

    Hasbro eventually found a use for Jedi Master points, and it was just about the stupidest thing imaginable: they held an auction where you could “pay” with the points. So rather than everybody being able to cash in their points, only the winners got to unload any (in huge numbers, since the auction format favors the weirdos who buy TONS of product) and everybody else A) was left disappointed, and 2) was still stuck with their points.

    Artemis says Jenna Jameson’s Shadow Hunter wasn’t just a T&A book – but Artemis also proudly reads Tarot: Witch of the Black Cherry, too.

    When you said “CCG,” I thought “CGC” – you know, the people who slab comics. I only WISH they were gone.

    J Scott Campbell finish Wildsydyrzz? Did he even START Wyldezidurrs?

    They stopped making DC Minimates because DCD didn’t want to continue. From watching the market, I really get the feeling that DC charges significantly more for their licensing than Marvel does: given equivalent products (Minimates, ML/DCUC) the Marvel things always cost less and offer more.

    Lady Death’s CrossGen run really proves that there are no bad characters, just bad creators. The only thing it had in common with any other version of Lady Death was her skintone. A great reimagining.

    That Rogue art is based on her look in X-Men: Evolution, which is why she looks like a teenager. That’s still a great costume, though…

  2. @Vincent – You were in Quick Hits? That’s pretty cool! I always wanted to have a letter published. I guess I probably should’ve *written* one. Alas, we regret most the things we didn’t do…

    @yo – Thanks for the answers! I knew some of them. I wish DST could’ve assimilated Palisades, like they did with Art Asylum. The Jedi auction sounds like some shit. Campbell *kinda* started Wildsiderz, if you can count issues 0-2. There was more to Shadow Hunter than T&A, as I actually met Jenna when she was promoting it. I do, however, have an axe to grind with it for 2 reasons A) most Virgin books just cashed in one celebrity names, without much involvement from them and B) I’m bitter about how issue #3 was turned into a prose comic (because the artist had become a hot commodity), with stock cover images shuffled into the mix.

  3. Hey!
    This post filled me with nostalgia for days gone by – when Wizard & Toyfare were MUST READ reading for me.

    My memories:

    – Jumping up and down with my brothers when we read that TOYFARE was going monthly. No joke.

    – Wizard doing a readers poll asking who was the better fan-fave artist – Michael Turner or Joe Madureira. How times change.

    – When Battle Chasers was SUPER late, Wizard ran a satirical article doing a Blair Witch-type search for Joe Mad.

    – Ads in Wizard for Danger Girl, promising the comic would be “guaranteed on-time, guaranteed kick ass!”

    – Using Wizard as my chief anatomical reference for drawing women when I was first learning to draw.

    – In Toyfare, a drunken Hulk mego referring to the director of “Batman Forever” as “Joel Schembeckler.”

    – In Wizard, a Top 10 Hottest Femals article, with illustrations painted by Joe “Dawn” Linsner. Catwoman was #1 (I cried foul at the time). Other runners up were Storm, She-Hulk, Vampirella, and, of course, Dawn.

    – In Wizard articles about costume revamps for Lady Death and Vampirella. Not so much with that.

    – In Wizard, reading articles about how great PREACHER was. I was waaaaay to young to read it at the time. However, after reading it, I agree: genius.

    – Not being allowed to read Wizard by my parents early on, because it was too suggestive.

    There are more. But enough for now.

Comments are closed.