How To Avoid A Dollar Store Christmas

“…walking home from our house Christmas Eve.”

So, my office is doing the annual Adopt A Family drive for the holiday season. I usually participate, but this year, things are so tight that they should be adopting ME! In any case, my biggest pet peeve is that people just bring in the cheapest shit! It’s such an insult. These families have fallen on hard times, but they’re not BLIND.

When I’ve participated in the past, I bought toys for those kids as if they were my own kids. I took the time to match the most awesome, sought after stuff, paired with the appropriate age group. When I was still at Diamond, I adopted this kid named Tyquan. I swear, I gave Tyquan a kick ass Christmas.

When it comes to these office drives, I feel a lot of people operate under the assumption that “these kids will be happy to get anything”. While that might be true in some cases, I don’t believe it’s true in ALL cases. Sure, in terms of giftgiving, “it’s the thought that counts”. I feel that a lot of people in the office just aren’t putting a lot of thought in. They can’t possibly be that cheap. Sure, we’ve all got that old aunt who treats the Dollar General as a one stop shop. I just think it’s kind of messed up when these people are out chasing Zhu Zhu Pets (THAT reference is gonna sound dated a year from now) for their own kids, yet they throw a generic $5 “doll & dress set” or a game of “Line Up Four” into the cart for faceless little Shaniqua in Druid Hill. And don’t even get me started on the donated food!

I’m glad & thankful that there are people willing to help these families, but I feel like they could be doing more. Considering I didn’t contribute, I realize I’m like the guy who didn’t vote that’s criticizing the current administration. That said, from what I’ve seen, I’d rather not have my name attached to something so half-assed.

My grandmother used to have my mom write her checks out @ holiday time. She was always telling her to write the check for $11 or $13. My mother tried to explain that those were dumb increments; round them off. Give $10 or $15 – don’t give some random ass odd number. My grandmother thought “they should be happy to get anything”, but it still looks…off. That’s the case here: these people think they’re doing something good, but their contribution is a bit off.

So, what’s the takeaway message? If you’re gonna do something like this, make the effort to go all in. Don’t get them cheap stuff just because “they should be happy to get anything”. They could’ve bought that dollar store shit for their kids themselves. Don’t insult by not thinking things through. Not a sermon, just a thought.