My Hatred For Seacrest 2.0 and Season Finale Analysis

“You used Ghostbusters for evil!”

I’m beginning to realize that I don’t like the new Ryan Seacrest. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but Ryan Seacrest, the brand, is a lot different from the surfer dude from the days of yore. Rewind to 2003, and we’ve got a guy who’s just glad that he has a job. Fresh off canceled game shows such as Gladiators 2000 and Click, he was a drive-time DJ who always had a smile, and seemed to appreciate every moment. Now, you’ve got this suit-wearing, multimedia impressario who’s poised to take over the entertainment world. On the fast-track to becoming the next Merv Griffin, Seacrest has his American Idol gig, owns 8 restaurants, he’s the exec producer of E! News, Keeping Up With the Kardashians & Denise Richards’ show, he’s the host of America’s Top 40, he’s got his syndicated On Air radio show, and there’s the persistent rumor that he’s raking over for Larry King on CNN. No, not Billy Bush, or anyone else who might be his contemporary; LARRY f’ing KING! Do you know what that guy’s demographic is? Plus, Larry has somewhat of a journalism background, so he’s got cred. To even imagine putting Seacrest in that role is as ill-conceived as replacing Rather with Couric. Sure, he’s a decent interviewer, but I feel Seacrest has lost a lot of what made him personable. They keep hinting at the fact that Idol needs to be retooled, and Seacrest being ousted is on the table. They might be on to something, as he’s just not relatable anymore. At times, he seems just as out of place as the musical-guest-of-the-week (Neil Diamond? Really?). Seacrest 2.0 is like your friend’s cool older brother, who used to buy you beer and porn, but now spends his weekends test driving Volvos and shopping for khakis since getting that i-banking job.

Lately, a favorite pastime of mine is listening to Casey Kasem’s America’s Top 40: The Eighties. Locally, it’s on 102.7, but I’m sure it’s syndicated all over the place. Basically, it replays the old ’80s countdowns, from the same calendar week. Yesterday’s countdown was from May 18th, 1985. The beauty of the countdown is you can see whether or not those “rising stars” flamed out or actually made something of themselves. Plus, you hear a bunch of songs from hit artists that are supposed to be “their next huge hit”, but actually flopped. Last night, I discovered Alison Moyet’s “Invisible”. She was pretty much the Anastacia of the era, as she was “the soulful white girl”. I guess there was only room for one Taylor Dayne back then. Good song, though. Plus, Casey introduced us to “the first hit from Katrina & the Waves”. I laughed about 5 minutes for that comment. It’s also funny to see that not everything touched by Billy Ocean, Hall & Oates, or Rick Springfield turned to gold, regardless of what those late-nite infomercials would lead us to believe. This week’s recommendation from the countdown, however, has to be Foreigner’s “That Was Yesterday.” If you remember the scene in Rocky IV where Rocky’s racing down the highway, reminiscing about Apollo, then you know this song. It gets lost in the 80s mix, but it’s one of the goodies.

Anybody else notice that the Cornell chick, Fury, isn’t on American Gladiators anymore? And why is Zen missing from Work Out? I love how these shows are “reality” until someone goes missing, and then mum’s the word.

So, it’s finale season. It’s a bit anticlimactic, seeing as how the strike killed a good third of the season. That said, I still love a good cliffhanger to hold me over until Fall:

The Office: ya know, I’m a somewhat occasional visitor to this universe, so it wasn’t as shocking to me as it might be to you Officephiles out there. I do think Ryan’s had an amazing character arc, as he has gone from decent guy to douchebag. When the show started, you could’ve sided with either Ryan or Jim, but now Jim’s the clear winner. I’m going to have to catch up with this series over the summer.

30 Rock: Somewhat disappointing. Jack goes to work for the lame duck Bush Administration, while Liz has a pregnancy scare (2 weeks, mind you, after the theatrical release of Baby Mama).

The Big Bang Theory: This show was a lot better earlier in the season, when Sheldon wasn’t as obnoxious, while Leonard had more interactions with Penny. What started as a nouveau Three’s Company quickly turned into Geek Will & Grace, with sidekicks stealing the spotlight. It seems like they were trying to return to the original formula in the end, but I was kind of over the potential of a Leonard-Penny union. Plus, if you’re gonna do it, you don’t sell the farm at the end of the first season. That’s a season 5 development right there.

How I Met Your Mother: She’s not the mom. Love her to death, but she’s not the mom. As much as I love this show, I feel the past 3 weeks have been a bit of a letdown. Thank God they got that pickup for next season, as this would’ve been a pretty shitty way to end the series. That said, a sitcom can’t last, successfully, more than 7 seasons. A sitcom with a built-in plot device (i.e. man has to right the wrongs of his life, father explains courtship to kids, man pretends to be married to secure promotion, etc) tends to have an even shorter shelf life. Considering this show has been on the bubble every season of its existence, they really need to plan next season as its last. It doesn’t have to end just because we meet the mom, but we do need to meet her before it’s too late.

One Tree Hill: This show does angst better than anything on TV right now. Laugh all you want, but it’s still here. Besides Smallville, it’s the longest running show on The CW. It weathered the merger, survived the 5 year time leap, and is currently experiencing a creative & ratings high. This season also introduced the amazing character of Millicent, a woman so great that I’d give my left foot to be with her if she existed. In any case, it was your standard OTH finale, with a bunch of false start happy endings, capped off with the big bad thing. I swear, though, I hope Dan’s dead for good now. For the last 4 years, it’s been Dan gets drugged and burned, Dan goes to jail, but never Dan finally dying. I think it’s time. Guess we’ll see in the Fall…

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