So, I’m messing around, reading the City Paper “I Saw You Ads”, and i found what I believe to be THE WORST icebreaker of all time, when searching for a date. This is someone’s actual Personals ad. Let’s see if you agree with me:
“1/4th of America has Herpes…..
So why is it so hard for me to find a date? I guess you have guessed it…yes..im included in the 1 in 4. Im basically a cute..sexy..intelligent..very ordinary yet extremely extrordinary girl with a little more adversity than the next. I enjoy movies..dinner..clubs..reading..or blockbuster nights..depends on my mood. Im very open minded..educated and completly down to earth. Im looking for someone honest, ambitious, witty, and outgoing.”
If you’re like me, you probably stopped reading after the first line. Well, after the second line, which is where she actually confirmed she HAD herpes! I would PAY to know who responds to this ad. i know “honesty is the best policy”, but DAMN! And her name is “August_Flame”. Sweetie, when dealing with herpes, anything pertaining to “flame” or “flare up”…not the best idea!
I think someone’s been a little too empowered by all those Valtrex commercials. I knew those things were bad. Anytime you show a herpes sufferer skydiving, you’re giving false hope. For a while there, I WANTED herpes, just ’cause those commercials made me think Valtrex takers could do the impossible. Man, what a twisted post this has become…
How many hits does this post get from search engine results like “herpes” “single” “sexy” “personals”?
Hopefully lots, all traffic is good traffic!
That’s why I’m feverishly working on my next post: “Justin Bieber Bacon Obama Lohan Erectile Dysfunction”
You found my archives! I forgot I even wrote that. I probably get tons, but I’ve got a plugin that deletes all the obvious spam before I see it. Now I kinda wish I could filter it first…