“My parents aren’t gonna do anything to you! It’s not like they’re gonna spear you…What? We’re African. That’s all people think of Africa: elephants, spears,
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The “Power Ranger Murderer” Was Not A Power Ranger…
“This is high school, huh? I’ve been here four seconds and I hate everyone.” So, finally my geekspertise comes in handy. Today’s gossip sites have
Her Husband’s Out Of Town…
“Cradle of fuckin’ CIVILIZAtion!” I’d been going at it for about 10 minutes. The sweat was running off my chin, dripping down to my chest.
It Wasn’t Castro
“You think this is a game, Biatch? This is Dudes’ Night Out!” So, I smoked my first Cuban the other day. Was certainly an interesting
Looking Back On Footloose
“And I thought only assholes used the word ‘pansy’!” So, I’m supposed to be Mr. Pop Culture, but there are many glaring omissions in my
Stuck: Taking Stock Of Life
I’m so lost, and I don’t get to show this side of myself often. Most people think of me as the nice, corny guy, but
RARB Likes Me! They Really Like Me!
“I love Connect Four. If my entire family died and a stranger offered to play Connect Four with me for a full afternoon, I’d skip
Cover Your Teeth With Your Lips!
“If I couldn’t collect art, books, and furniture, I’d probably collect baseball cards or golf tchotchkes. And if I couldn’t collect those things, I’d probably
Go Away, Maria Menounos!
“He wants me to go to the moon with him, Johnny, and it’s really cold there, I guess, and it’s like, my least favorite planet
DJ Tanner Says You’re Going To Hell!
What’s the deal with the Cameron family?!!! First, Mike Seaver got Left Behind and now DJ Tanner’s throwing THIS at us?!!! Whoa, babies! When did