“Bad boys! Bad boys! Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?”
Are ya excited?! Well, I hope not, because this is not about that show. Sure, Adam and I talk about police this go ’round, but we’re focusing on those that are fighting crime in a future time. Yup, for this episode, we’re talking C.O.P.S. aka CyberCOPS, which was a 1988 cartoon designed to sell a Hasbro toyline.
Before we get into all that, let’s “set the table” so to speak. I’ve mentioned this before, but I went to college to work in the toy industry. The problem, however, is that people didn’t do that then. After I graduated, schools like F.I.T. would establish a Toy Curriculum, but there was no such thing at the turn of the century. So, I had to sort of feel my way through it. I thought that I should study child development, so I’d know the different stuff that toys needed to have accomplish in order to make it to market. So, that’s what I did. I studied Early Childhood, as well as Foundations of Play. Stuff like that. I had an internship at a preschool for a year, just to observe how they play. Around the time of graduation, though, there weren’t really any companies biting. I’d later discover that the industry puts design first, and then they work in any educational component they might be able to shove in there. They don’t want educational toys that look cool. No, they want cool looking toys that might be educational. And I’m not a design guy, so… “A dream deferred” and all that.
The one thing I took away from that whole journey, however, was my discovery of the effects of Reagan’s deregulation on 80s toys. This is pretty much common knowledge since the Internet Age, but it wasn’t so common back in 2003. I’ll spare you the minutiae, but Reagan’s FCC changes resulted in new opportunities for toy companies to peddle their wares. Their answer? The Program-Length Commercial (PLC). These are shows that were created just to sell us toys. And, I’m sorry to break your heart, but almost EVERYTHING we loved growing up was a PLC. Sure, there were things that were spinoffs from other media, like The Real Ghostbusters or even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. But all of those things you thought were “original ideas”? PLCs. G.I. Joe, Masters of the Universe, M.A.S.K., ThunderCats, and the granddaddy of them all, Transformers – ALL PLCs. These franchises, filled with lore, that 40 year olds are currently buying and stashing in their basements, were just elaborate commercials trying to sell you something. Folks today might say “Well, of course”, but it wasn’t so clear at that time. This was uncharted territory. The Clinton administration would change a few things, like mandating a channel can’t air a commercial for a toyline during the show promoting that same property. The thinking was that children weren’t smart enough to know when the show ended and the sales pitch began. If you’ve got any old 90s kids shows taped, you’ll notice there are no Power Rangers toy commercials during that episode of Power Rangers. But it could air during Digimon, next on the schedule. Still, your childhood was built on lies. You’re welcome.
So, that brings me to our latest episode, where we talk about C.O.P.S. – short for Central Organization of Police Specialists – designed to promote the C.O.P.S. ‘n’ Crooks toyline from Hasbro. The characters were designed by comic artist Bart Sears, while the toys utilized a scaled up version of the O-ring mechanics of the G.I. Joe line. Whereas G.I. Joe figures were 3.75″, C.O.P.S. figures were roughly 6″ (although they were taller in my memory). The toys had a gimmick where each figure and vehicle had a cap-firing accessory meant to simulate gunfire. To promote this toyline, a 65-episode weekday cartoon series was produced by DIC Entertainment, featuring music by these nobodies named Shuki Levi and Haim Saban. There was also a 15-issue spinoff comic series, published by DC Comics. The show would get a Saturday morning run on CBS in the early 90s, but was renamed CyberCOPS so as not to confuse it with the legendary Fox reality show, COPS, which had launched since its original debut.
As always, we had a great time talking about the toys and the show, plus you learn a new chapter of my insane origin. If that sounds interesting, then you can find it here, or wherever you get your podcasts.
