Happy New Year! As my wife and I like to say, the years have only been getting worse since 2016, so buckle up!
First up, we lost President Jimmy Carter this week, and that can’t pass without being acknowledged. Not only was he the oldest living US president in history, but he also had a political “glow-up” that was unsurpassed. While his administration was before my time, pop culture seemed to indicate he was nothing more than an ineffective peanut farmer. In recent years, however, we got confirmation of the October Surprise, involving the American hostages in Iran, that was key in clenching the 1980 election for Reagan, setting things into a spiral we’re still feeling to this day. He’d go on to become the poster boy for Habitat for Humanity, and was known for his good works and kind demeanor. A few months back, my oldest asked me about Carter, and I said “He wasn’t a great president, but he is a great man.” That’s a pretty good legacy to leave behind, if ya ask me.
I made a strange discovery this week: Did you know Half Baked: Totally High – a direct-to-video sequel to the 1998 Dave Chappelle/Jim Breuer stoner comedy – came out last year, with Rachel True as the only returning cast member from the original?! The film focuses on True’s son, whom she had with Chappelle’s Thurgood, as they start fresh after kicking that deadbeat to the curb. Between this and the recent Saved By The Bell, it’s nice to see Dexter Darden racking up a long career of playing a 33-year old teenager. The cast of Beverly Hills 90210 would be proud! Anyway, I posted this on Bluesky, and it was devastating how many folks mistook David Koechner for Rob Corddry. Put some respect on Champ Kind’s name!
Speaking of odd discoveries, it appears Dynamite has acquired the SilverHawks comic license. Now, I recently discussed the problems with my generation being able to let go of their youth, but this project looks dead on arrival. What you’re seeing is the B cover, by Jae Lee, and I CAN’T STAND JAE LEE ART. Remember how all the art during the Renaissance was influenced by Christianity? This feels like that, only everyone he draws looks like they’ve had their soul sucked out by a witch. Every Jae Lee figure is the same: some wispy specter, dead behind the eyes. But that’s not my biggest problem.
No, my biggest issue is the inclusion of Hotwing. Introduced in the middle of the 80s cartoon, it should be noted that Hotwing is the black SilverHawk. Now, I would say that he was added for Diversity, but we weren’t doing that yet. We hadn’t entered the swinging Captain Planet United Colors of Benetton 90s yet. But, yeah, they had a black guy, named after chicken wings. He’s not a core member of the team, and even Wikipedia refers to him as a “Minor Hawk”. So, his inclusion here, however, is clear: he is here for Diversity this go ’round. And that’s why this will fail.
The key to nostalgia is you really can’t change too much about the core concept. It would have been one thing if the series took the approach of the Gargoyles comic, also from Dynamite, which purports to be a direct continuation of the Disney cartoon. Instead, this is a ground-up reboot, so they’re saying that Hotwing was there from the beginning. This didn’t work when Cyborg was added to the Justice League, and it ain’t gonna work here. I can understand what they’re trying to do, and representation is important. That said, Hotwing isn’t even known to many SilverHawks fans, let alone laypeople. And the ones that do know him, only know him as a joke, due to his name. This is one of those cases where the number of old fans they’ll lose by doing this is greater than the number of new fans they’ll gain. If they’re serious about it, though, the least they could do is change his name…
Trailer Park
Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man (Disney+, January 29)
So, I see they decided to cut out the middleman when it comes to the Osborns: “Instead of trying to explain why Norman has the finger waves of a Black man, let’s just make him a Black man!” I guess that means the Black teen is Harry. Got it. I also see that this show continues my least favorite thing that the MCU-era has contributed to the Spider-Man canon: Peter calling his aunt by her first name. Look, I’m old-fashioned. I still call my aunts “Aunt Mary” and “Aunt Jessie”. Growing up, Peter Parker called his caregiver “Aunt May”, and that stuck with me. It was like “See? I’m not the only one doing this!” However, when Holland Parker called Marisa Tomei “May”, it gave off a whole “You’re not my mom, but rather some woman I live with” vibe. We still don’t even know if there’s an Uncle Ben in the MCU, so May could just be some “play aunt” who went to college with his parents or something. We really don’t know. In the comics, around the time Peter revealed his identity to the world during Civil War, he was calling her “May”, and that didn’t sit right with me, either.
Here’s the big reason I don’t care about this show: since 1994, there has pretty much been a Spider-Man cartoon in production at all times. Sure, there are gaps here and there, but from 1994’s Spider-Man on Fox Kids to 2021’s Spidey and His Amazing Friends, there have been SEVEN Spider-Man cartoon series, and this makes the EIGHTH. I don’t want to get too attached, knowing the some Korean animation studio is working on this show’s replacement as I type this. And the weird costume and the Future Foundation suit are just present to sell toys.
Shifting Gears (ABC, January 8)
I’ve been doing this long enough that I can see the Matrix code for these things. I know a show “made by committee” when I see one. You can tell this is meant to be Tim Allen’s “ABC Homecoming” vehicle, but something is off. It really feels like someone decided to make one more season of Last Man Standing, with an entirely new cast. I mean, Allen is still giving off the energy of that Mike Baxter character, but there’s something about the production value, the cast, and even the way it’s being marketed that screams “FOX!” to me. This isn’t even early Last Man Standing, in its prime. No, this is “We need to plug something into this timeslot until we wrap up these SmackDown negotiations” Last Man Standing. You’ve got 2 proven quantities in both Allen and Dennings, while the cast is rounded out by two “Hey, I know that guy!” veterans in Daryl “Chill” Mitchell and Sean William Scott. Kat Dennings, however, is basically a busty Aubrey Plaza, in that every performance is one-note and sardonic. 2 Broke Girls worked because she could play off Beth Behrs’s perky, chipper Caroline Channing. Here, though, we’ve got Dennings as “Kind of a Jerk”, playing off Allen as “A Different Kind of Jerk”. This is a one and done, kids. Everyone here will be back in the pilot season pool next year.
Will Around The Web
Adam and I are back with a new episode of Remember That Show?, where we discuss the little-known follow-up to 80s hit Knight Rider, the one-season syndicated Team Knight Rider. When Adam first discussed the creation of this podcast with me, TKR was at the top of my list of shows to cover, so I’m glad we’re finally getting around to talking about it.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
- Social media influencer Victoria “Woah Vicky” Waldrip was believed to have been kidnapped in Nigeria, only for her to reveal that she faked it because she “was bored”.
- On a podcast, a celebrity wedding planner revealed that JLo wanted Bruno Mars to perform at her wedding to Alex Rodriguez, but balked at Mars’s $5 million fee. Probably because he knew that shit either wouldn’t happen or wouldn’t last…
- Jason Momoa was confirmed as Lobo in the upcoming Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow movie, which would be perfect casting had he not already been cast as Aquaman. I know we’re rebooting everything, but there are other actors out there. There wasn’t some Riverdale alum Gunn could have thrown a bone to?
I don’t know what’s going on over at Warner Bros. The main thing about comic book movies is they have to ensure they don’t become a confusing mess like the comics they’re adapting. With the DC movies, we’re in this weird state where some of the stuff that has come before still “counts”, yet most doesn’t. So, The Suicide Squad is canon, as it begat Peacemaker and Creature Commandos, despite the fact that Margot Robbie is probably done as Harley, and it would also mean that she was never with Jared Leto Joker from the Snyderverse. So, it’s more of a buffet than a fixed menu. As a comic fan, I get it. I don’t know if Johnny TimeCard and Marcy Taxpayer know the difference. We could say “These movies aren’t for them”, but they need to be accessible to them, in order to make the most money. When I discussed the Superman trailer, I said that I wasn’t sure Gunn was The Dude. He’s great at what he does, but that’s not marquee characters. You don’t put Gunn on your heavy hitters. You put him on your Laney Boggs so he can give her a She’s All That makeover. You’re left thinking, “She was beautiful the entire time!” So, it was even more odd that he was going to backdoor his entire master plan for the DC slate through a hyper violent cartoon on a streaming service. BUT IT WORKS!
I’ll be the first to tell you that I wasn’t on the DCEU train once it pulled into the station. I don’t think I saw anything after Wonder Woman ’84. I just couldn’t bring myself to care about that iteration of those characters. And it was messy how they were announcing plans for the reboot before the body was even in the ground. “James Gunn has got a ton of great plans, but be sure to go see Blue Beetle. It’s about a super powered Mexican kid or something. We don’t know.” Maybe I’ll go back, one day, to see Jason Momoa fight *checks notes* the dude from The Conjuring. I might have missed some real gems there.
Anyway, to debut his vision for the DC Universe with Creature Commandos was a CHOICE. I watched the first couple of episodes when they debuted, and I didn’t hate it. I was a little confused, as I also missed The Suicide Squad, which seemed to have been important for setting the stage for things. Right away, Gunn do that voodoo that Gunn do so well! He makes you really care about these Nobodies – to the point where you sort of don’t care about the known quantities. Like, Viola Davis is basically phoning it in at this point, and I don’t care, as we already know what she brings to the table as Waller. I was surprised by Rick Flagg Sr, however, as it would have been so easy to play him off as a tough-as-nails strategist, a la comic Nick Fury. Instead, he’s actually something of a gentle guy, and much more likeable than his son was. And the way it can just sort of change from horror to humor on a dime. David Harbour plays Frankenstein on a sliding scale of “George Clooney” to “Richard Moll”. In one scene, he can be pestering Flagg like a petulant child, and in the next he’s committing cold blooded murder to someone who had shown him the ultimate kindness.
Due to the events of the past movies that may or may not have “happened”, Waller is forbidden from using humans in her teams, so she has to resort to monsters. But the trick of the show is that none of them are actual monsters. Not naturally, at least. They became monsters, usually due to some circumstance that was misinterpreted. The Bride is a monster because of what happened to her creator. Weasel is a monster because of an event that was wholly misunderstood. Dr. Phosphorous is a monster because he got into bed with bad people in order to do a good thing. They were all sent to prison, and began to believe the hype. They now see themselves as monsters, and they’d been recruited as such. Through this mission, though, I hope they realize they’re not monsters – that they’re more than how they had been seeing themselves. Maybe they’ll finish this mission (a very confusing mission, by the way) as Heroes. Ya know, if they all survive. Anyway, this week’s episode saw the debut of the Gunnverse Batman, albeit in silhouette. Gunn’s cookin’ now! So, Creature Commandos had the West Week Ever.
