Welcome back to the hippest trip in America! What? Since Soul Train‘s over, someone ought to be using that slogan, right? Anyway, let’s get to it!
Lindsay and I started the Netflix series Eric in July, and it took us until last weekend to finish it. No, it’s not that long. It’s just not that compelling. There’s a lot going on with this limited series, so try to stay with me here. Benedict Cumberbatch plays a puppeteer named Vincent, who’s the co-creator of the children’s television program Good Day, Sunshine. He’s also a terrible husband, father, and boss. He’s got a personality disorder, on top of a drinking problem, so he’s a nightmare to everyone around him. He’s basically Mirror Universe Jim Henson. Well, his life is turned completely upside down when his autistic (?) son, Edgar, goes missing one morning on the way to school. Seeing as how it’s the 80s in New York City, this is a terrible, terrible thing, and there’s no chance that kid’s still alive. Vincent struggles with Edgar’s disappearance while fighting his own demons, and the combination of everything manifests into “Eric”, a giant monster puppet that Edgar had been designing for his dad’s show. Vincent starts seeing and speaking to Eric, who serves as something of a sidekick on his search for his son. Meanwhile, there are, like, 5 other stories going on in the background, from teens being pimped out at gay nightclubs to Roy from The Office potentially being a crooked police chief.
The series was only 6 episodes, but those episodes took FOREVER! The biggest problem is that the show tried too hard – so hard that it became predictable. There were precisely two pivotal moments that I jokingly called, saying “Watch – He’s gonna say -“, only for the character to do exactly that. It’s got, like, 25 different characters, and it trips over itself to make you think everyone’s a suspect in whatever happened to Edgar. Someone would seemingly cooperate with the cops, only to exhibit something of a “shifty glance” the moment they were alone. For NYC to be such a big city, it’s insane how everyone involved knew each other here. Maybe they were trying to put forth the idea that “it’s a small world”, but I refuse to believe that Vincent’s wife just happened to be having an affair with the soup kitchen guy who is on a first name basis with every homeless man in the city, which will become important to the story. And while the main story is Vincent and Eric trying to find Edgar, the more interesting story is actually happening parallel to that one, as the investigating detective notices similarities between Edgar’s disappearance and the disappearance of a young black boy earlier that year. However, because Society, nobody is expending a tenth of the resources to find that kid that they’re devoting to the search for Edgar. So, it heavy-handedly tackles that, as well as homosexual life in NYC in the early days of AIDS. Like I said, a LOT going on! Anyway, don’t watch this show. You don’t need to watch this. There are better ways to waste 6 hours. There’s probably a Bar Rescue marathon on or something.
Sticking with Netflix, we watched the documentary The Greatest Night in Pop, detailing the night that USA for Africa recorded the charity single “We Are The World”. There was a famine going on in Ethiopia, and allegedly Harry Belafonte called his rich friends, saying “I see all these white folks helping black folks, but I don’t see black folks helping black folks. We need to change that.” So, they decided to write a song? Anyway, before we get into that, let me tell you a story.
Back in my a cappella days, my group was always hired to do this annual charity gig that was one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had to this day. For whatever reason, I only made it to this thing one year, but it was the year that mattered. You see, it was at this mansion, overlooking the lake, but the thing I’ll never forget is that everyone seemed to speak in vague, coded language. They never really stated why they were raising money, and when people spoke – people who had supposedly benefitted from those funds – they never clearly stated what they’d been going through, nor how they used the funds. They would speak in non-specific ways, like, “The help that this organization provided, in our time of need, will never be forgetten by our family.” But these people benefitting seemed well-to-do. So, were they raising money for new lacrosse gear (That shit is expensive!)? Were they spiriting their kids away by helicopter to a conversion camp?
The year that I went, the guys and I were joking around about how it felt like the setting of an 80s action movie. Ya know, where all of the waiters would pull Uzis out of nowhere, and a Blackhawk helicopter would swoop down over the lake, as we were besieged by terrorists? That sort of image. Oh, we laughed and laughed. But soon we wouldn’t be laughing. That’s because this particular gig took place on September 9th, 2001. I’ve never forgotten it, and I’ve actually tried to figure out more about that charity over the past two decades. Not only have I found absolutely nothing, but it seems like they’ve scrubbed the internet of any mention of that organization, as I’m finding fewer search results now than I once did. Lord only knows what I was helping them raise money for… Anyway, that’s how I felt watching this documentary. A lot of these folks didn’t know why they were there, nor did they really care.
So, the song was written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie, and it was decided that it would be recorded the night of the America Music Awards. So, after all of the country’s biggest artists were coked up and/or tired, they were expected to report to a recording session that would run until 8 in the morning. It’s a miracle they pulled it off, but you never really got the impression they cared about the cause. Like, it was an exclusive club, where it was an honor to be invited, and most everyone was starstruck by everyone else in the room. That said, you could have told most of them they’d be watching a Betamax of bum fights, and they’d have eagerly asked “Is Prince gonna be there?”
I’ve often said that there are docu-series that I’d watch if they were a feature-length documentary, yet I feel the opposite in this case. This feature-length documentary needed time to breathe. Instead of one hour and 47 minute film, this needed to be a 4-5 part series of 45-minute episodes. We hit the major beats: Lionel and Michael didn’t write the song until the night before recording; Quincy put up the sign “Check your egos at the door”; the artists were so stunned to meet some of their heroes. But there is a TON that’s either glossed over or omitted, that I had to discover from other sources. For example, John Denver actually asked to be included, but he was rejected because it was worried he would hurt the “cool factor” of the project. They needed it to be a hit song, with the hottest musicians of the day, so Denver would have hurt their cool cred. That’s cold!
Also, there are three things that the doc touched on, which should have been expanded upon. First up, Al Jarreau apparently proceeded to get more and more drunk as the night went on, because he was prematurely celebrating the end of recording before recording had actually ended. They said there was a rush to get him to record his solo while he was still actually capable of singing it. Next up, we always knew they’d tried to get Prince to show up, though they wouldn’t give in to his demands (The rivalry with Michael, he wanted to record a guitar solo in a separate room, etc). What isn’t common knowledge, however, is that they invited Sheila E., and it became increasingly apparent that the invitation was political. They’d merely reached out to her because they thought she, in turn, could get them Prince. As the night wore on, and it became clear he wasn’t coming, they really turned on the pressure to see if she could convince him. When she realized what was going on, she got her stuff, said her goodbyes, and left the recording. Finally – and I feel the biggest thing that needs to be addressed – Why the Hell was Dan Aykroyd there?! Yes, Mr. Ghostbusters himself is just in the back, singing along like he’s an actual singer. Sure, he’s one of the Blues Brothers, but that shouldn’t have gotten him an invitation. If you look it up, there’s a reason he was there, but it’s never covered in the actual documentary, and he’s the epitome of “One of these things is not like the other.”
You’re supposed to believe this is the night for pop music that will never be topped, but it’s never *proven*. Sure, there’s a great roster assembled here, but there are almost just as many glaring omissions. Besides Prince, where’s Madonna? Where’s Elton? Lionel tries to say that they had to choose either Cyndi or Madonna, and he felt Cyndi had a more unique sound. But they had Kenny Loggins and Huey Lewis in the same room (Hell, Huey even brought the entire roster of The News with him!), so I’m not buying this “redundant sound” argument.
My biggest problem, though, is the aftermath. When everything was said and done, did the artists even accomplish anything? At the time, the famine had affected 7.75 million people in Ethiopia. To date, the song has raised roughly $80 million, with 90% of that going to African humanitarian efforts, and the remaining 10% going toward US causes. As of 2022, however, there were approximately 13 million people in Ethiopia experiencing “acute food insecurity”. So, you’re telling me that $80 million dollars later, the problem has basically DOUBLED?! The math ain’t mathing! No, they got to hang out with their friends and colleagues for a night, and it was a savvy PR move for many, but this didn’t really do anything. So, seeing as how there was a lot of meat missing from the documentary, combined with the fact that it seems like the whole enterprise was something of an empty gesture, I’m going to have to argue that it was not, in fact, “the greatest night in pop”.
Trailer Park
Captain America: Brave New World (Theaters, February 14)
“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe! I’ve got a great date planned for us tonight!” That…that’s some release date. Anyway, I’ve gone on record that I tend to avoid trailers 2 & 3 of blockbusters, as I hate we live in a 3-trailer cycle, and by the 3rd we tend to know the whole movie. I’m making an exception here, though, as this is now feeling like an entirely different movie than we’ve been shown. It’s tonally different. The first trailer was a bunch of Sam Wilson heroics, versus a Red Hulk, to show us he deserves the mantle of Captain America. This trailer, however, is like someone said “Remember The Winter Soldier? Yeah, let’s do that.” Now, it’s a government intrigue thriller, and I don’t hate that. I mean, Harrison Ford usually thrives in that genre, but now I’m feeling like Red Hulk might be unnecessary. While he was the big MacGuffin of the first trailer, I no longer see how he fits in the new framing narrative. It’s also interesting seeing more action from “Ruth”, since all we had to go on prior was a really bad Happy Meal toy. I know she can’t be “Sabra” because of world politics, but this might be a better use for her, as every Sabra appearance I’ve ever read SUCKED.
Thunderbolts* (Theaters, May 2025)
Yes, I know I discussed the Thunderbolts* trailer, but before you call me a hypocrite, this isn’t a “trailer”, but rather a “Special Look”. See how that works? Anyway, I’m liking this more and more, and I’m not sure how to take that. Historically, the more I see of these movies, the more my fanboy brain finds to nitpick. But there are just little things here that I love. Valentina bought Stark Tower?! I wonder if she’s the buyer from Spider-Man: Homecoming. Also, I love what Julia Louis-Dreyfus does with that character, as she never made a ton of sense in the comics. That said, the one thing I did like about her in the comics was her relationship with Nick Fury. That’s why I find it disappointing that the MCU decided to make her the ex-wife of milquetoast Everett Ross instead, because A) I don’t see how that ever worked and B) I’d have loved to see her exchange witty repartée with Samuel L. Jackson. Anyway, can’t wait!
Paradise (Hulu, January 28)
Ooh, this looks GOOD! Plus, we’re big James Marsden fans around here. Never felt that dude got the spotlight he deserved. Got him running around, talking to a CGI hedgehog…But I digress. My only hope here is that it’s designed as a limited series, and not some multi-season thing. I also don’t want it to successfully tell its intended story, and then they try to milk a season 2 out of it. It’s done by the creator of This Is Us, Dan Fogelman, so there’s already a working familiarity between him and Sterling K. Brown, which should make for a great performance. I’m really looking forward to this one!
The Little Mermaid (On Demand, December 7)
Fucking Lionsgate, man. This is a great example of “Why didn’t they just call it something else?” Like, I know the Disney version isn’t the original story, but I feel like I’m getting trolled here. This feels like the kind of movie that would have been made around 2000, when casting directors had fallen asleep at the wheel. The main guy would have been played by Paul Walker or Ryan Phillippe. There’s NO WAY he’s a “professor”, and the douche vibes are so strong that I’m not even sure how we’re supposed to root for him. Plus, I’m getting a whiff of Emmanuelle, in that this probably started out as an erotic thriller, but they took out a bunch of the sex to get it distribution. Seeing as how it ended up as a VOD film, they probably should have left it all in.
Will Around The Web
Adam and I introduce our new podcast concept, Channel Surfing, on the latest episode of Remember That Show? Journeying outside our usual bounds of the 80s and 90s, we take a look at the entire Punky Brewster franchise, with a particular focus on the recent Peacock revival.
Links I Loved
- Clay Aiken gives a really tone deaf, almost vapid interview to Variety about his upcoming Christmas album. It’s somewhat refreshing in that he clearly had no handlers during this thing, so it’s not a bunch of softball questions. While it probably did him no favors, I appreciate a “warts and all” interview.
- Remember how I was upset that the Greatest Night documentary didn’t address Dan Aykroyd’s presence? Well, he discussed it himself, during an interview with The A.V. Club. They take a look back at some of his less popular roles, to get his thoughts on them. Again, a really great candid interview, with no imposed filter. He comes off gracious and genuine, in a setting designed to get him to shit on some of his “career misses”.
- Finally, one of my social media pals, Shawn Robare, wrote a touching story about his hatred of Bubble Yum, and how it’s tied to the challenges he faced while taking care of his ailing mother. I consider it a Must Read for anyone serving in a caregiver capacity.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
- After 55 years, Christmas classics Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty The Snowman are moving from CBS to NBC, and it seems some people care? Man, I wish I had time for trivial shit like that…
- By now, everyone from your mailman to the cashier at the grocery store has told you about the URL goof on the Wicked toy packaging, so we’re just gonna move on to the next item
- The name of the 8th Mission Impossible film was confirmed as Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning. No. They can’t do that. See, the 7th movie was Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part 1. So, where’s Part 2? You can’t just skip Part 2! IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!
- Yellowstone finally returned, and dealt with Kevin Costner’s departure in much the same way as “Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet.”
- It’s hard out in these TV streets, as ABC is relying on Hulu to help fill its midseason schedule. The network will be airing the hit Hulu series Only Murders in the Building (season 2) as well as The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.
- Speaking of TV hardships, Amazon is shuttering its unfortunately named Amazon FreeVee streaming channel, and folding its original programming into Prime Video.
- Saturday Night Live‘s Chloe Fineman revealed that Elon Musk made her cry when he hosted the show, as he rejected as sketch she had written. I mean, we all know he’s a douche, but I feel like there’s more to the story, as a workplace as volatile as SNL probably has folks crying left and right.
- Last week would have been the 25th wedding anniversary for Cory and Topanga on Boy Meets World. Yup, twenty-five years. Yes, you are old.
- Finally, I love how the world has a way of balancing itself. I mean, John Krasinski gets named People‘s Sexiest Man Alive, and I’m like “Huh?!” Then, The Onion buys Alex Jones’s Infowars at auction, and all is right with the world. I can’t wait to see what they do with that brand. I mean, it’s not like they can do anything worse than Jones ever did with it…
I was gonna talk about Star Trek: Lower Decks this week, but we’re already running long, and I’ve got too much to say. So, that’s getting bumped like Lindsay Buckingham. No, we all know how these things wrap up, and it was a bit of a challenge this week. You see, there was a LOT going on! I could go the snarky route (any one of Trump’s cabinet picks) or I could go with pop culture (which probably would have veered towards Yellowstone‘s record-breaking return ratings). No, there was something else – something that was right in front of me.
I think it’d be fair to say I’m a Social Media Guy. I mean, that’s really something of an understatement. I’ve been an early adopter of pretty much all of these sites and apps. I’ve watched them come and go, with no one really taking any shine away from the big boys Facebook and Twitter. However, when Elon bought Twitter, rebranding it to “X”, a lot of users started running for the exits. Meta tried to compete with the Twitter experience, by launching Threads, but that’s a garbage app filled with bots. Whenever someone says Threads is their preferred Twitter alternative, I worry for them a little. My Threads algorithm is nothing but MILF bots with OnlyFans links. Yeah, I know I did it to myself, and it’s my cross to bear. Someone has to make these sacrifices. The real standout of the pack, however, was Bluesky.
I’ve already written about Bluesky. Hell, it kinda, sorta got the West Week Ever last summer. Out of that wave of “Twitter Killers”, I felt Bluesky had the most potential, as it wasn’t built on a foundation of chaos. And it would appear that I was correctly, in that the election results gave way to yet another X-odus, with most folks finding their way to Bluesky. Since it’s no longer on an invite basis, and its beefed up its features, it has seemingly become THE destination for folks looking for an Old Twitter experience.
Bluesky is not without its problems, however. There are no private accounts, so most of your posts can be found through a simple Google search. You can set it up to say you’d prefer your posts only be seen by folks logged into the site, but that’s hardly a barrier. It’s also a doomscroller’s paradise. Imagine you came over from another country, and your ship went down, but you were able to swim the rest of the way to Ellis Island. Sure, you’d found refuge, but you’d also notice that no one around you could manage to shut the fuck up about it! “Then the sharks came, and they ate Yia-yia!” We get it, Giuseppe! *eyeroll emoji* So, make sure you follow the right people on there, as there’s no algorithm, so what you see is what you get. I can’t wait for them to give me the ability to turn off folks’ reposts!
Anyway, I bring all this up to say the platform added roughly 2.5 million users in the past week. That’s nothing to sneeze at! Now, with growth comes hiccups, as we’ve seen the servers sort of buckle under the stress of all this activity. But, it looks like Bluesky just might be here to stay. And even if it doesn’t make it, we’ll always be able to look back at this week, when Bluesky had the West Week Ever.
