One of these days I’m going to settle on the official disclaimer text here. Let’s just say that this entire piece is *opinion*, and yours may differ. You can consider it a “conversation starter”, but I’m not really coming into this with facts. Got it? Good.
So, I had sort of “excused myself” from mainstream music this year, for various reasons. For one, I got consumed by podcasts that I needed to catch up on, so that’s what I listened to during my commute. And at work. And at home. And when I did listen to music, it was terrestrial radio. When you ask “Who even listens to radio anymore?”, it’s me. Hi! I’m the problem, it’s me! I don’t get why you wouldn’t. It’s FREE! I know folks like to “curate” their own playlists and whatnot, but I like the feeling you get when one song is about to end, and you don’t know what the next song might be. Sure, the “Shuffle” feature brought that to personal listening 3 decades ago, but it’s just not the same. I like the station identification at the top of the hour. I like hearing Delilah counsel the lonely hearts every night. So, I’d retreated into the bosom of Adult Contemporary because it’s been a rough year, and that format plays the music I listened to back when the sky was the limit. And now the limit is the sky… Anyway, there are only so many times a week someone can hear the truncated version of John Legend’s “All of Me” (seriously, why is there an entire verse missing?!), and I found myself back on 99.5, WIHT, “Washington’s Hit Music” Hot 995. And I had thoughts. I’d been away a long time, but I certainly had thoughts. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today, in no particular order.
- So, it doesn’t bother anyone that Sabrina Carpenter basically has 3 concurrent singles right now? I know albums don’t really “matter” anymore, but you are liable to hear either “Please, Please, Please”, “Espresso”, or “Taste” in the same frequency during the day. They’re all treated with equal fervor, despite hitting radio at completely different times throughout the year. “Back in my day”, there would have been a fear that they’d cannibalize each other on the charts. However, they hit #1, #2, and #3 , respectively, on the Billboard Top 200, so I guess that’s not a real problem?
- Outside of Sabrina, there’s a lot of what I’ll call “breathy warbling”. It’s so bad that I don’t really even know what these broads are singing, and I have good hearing. Between Billie, Chappell, and Addison Rae, I need subtitles to know what’s being said.
- It took her a decade, but Meghan Trainor finally put out a real song. By that, I mean that she finally put out a song that wasn’t just some novelty tripe. “All About That Bass” is a coded song about how she’s thicc. It’s a novelty song. “I Made Ya Look” was another cutesy novelty song. It’s OK, it happens. Katy Perry debuted with novelty songs, like “I Kissed A Girl”, but she eventually became seen as an artist with real songs. I’ve never listened to a full Trainor album, but “Criminals” is the first song she’s released to radio where I felt “Damn, that’s a hot song!” It’s not about a sexy music video, nor about how there’s a viral dance on Tik Tok. No, on its own, it’s a good pop song that doesn’t rely on some tongue-in-cheek joke.
- Speaking of gimmicks, I feel like Tate McRae puts out “Pussycat Dolls music”. If you remember PCD, their songs weren’t really about musicality, but rather paced where they accommodated dance routines. It was fairly common for a certain type of girl group, like Danity Kane or Fifth Harmony. It’s a scenario where the group really only had 1 or 2 actual singers, and the rest were added for “Hot Balance”. McRae, first and foremost, is a dancer. Music comes second for her. Maybe even third. So, none of her songs are really meant to showcase her as a singer, but rather just serve as a soundtrack for her to dance over in videos. And that’s when she reveals herself as Jailbait Pop. It’s not a new genre. I feel like Britney pioneered it. You never walked away from Britney, thinking “That girl can sing!”, but rather “Those were some hot dance moves!” These are artists that don’t really work without visuals. A Tate McRae music video is hot as fuck, but a Tate McRae song leaves you feeling like
- I was saying that I heard Kesha’s new song “Joyride”, and that Dr. Luke must be laughing his ass off. A buddy on social media said he liked it, and that he’s glad she got away from her abuser. Look, two things can be true: Dr. Luke could be an abuser, but Dr. Luke could also be solely responsible for the “Kesha Sound”. It’s like he built her in a lab. There is no Kesha without Dr. Luke. It’s a shame their careers were wound that tightly together, but she might as well just reinvent herself as “Kesha Rose” or something, because dropping the “$” wasn’t enough. She hasn’t had a Top 10 single that didn’t have Dr. Luke’s fingerprints on it. And it’s not like she had a fledgling career, they linked up, and then she blew up. He was there at the beginning, so it’s going to be really hard for her to retain her familiar sound, while also striking out in a new direction. She doesn’t seem to have the “reinvention moxie” that someone like Gaga has. But let’s hope for the best for her!
- I’m realizing I completely missed the dawn of K-Pop, and I don’t…really get it. I’m sure a lot of folks felt this way during the boyband explosion, but there’s a cultural component here that makes this topic a minefield. I mean, if we go right down the middle, you’ve got the boy groups and the girl groups. I think the girl groups have a much better grasp of the English language than the boy groups. I hear 50/50’s “Cupid” or something by BlackPink, and I can sing along. BTS, though? Not so much. Why isn’t there as much of an emphasis on clear vocals with the guys? Plus, can I find K-Pop in its original Korean? Like, are these basically “dubs” for the US market? When I was in college, I discovered Taiwanese singer Jay Chou, and became OBSESSED. I had no clue what this dude was singing, but he could SANG, and it was beautiful. I was really hoping he’d break out in the US when he was cast as Kato in Seth Rogan’s The Green Hornet, but that…didn’t…happen. All I’m saying is I might enjoy BTS more in their native language? Anyway, I don’t know where to even start with K-Pop. I need some sort of primer, because all these groups look and sound the same. And, yes, I know you’re trying to get that magic evil sound bite, but I mean that in the same way that Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC look alike, or 5ive and O-Town look alike (they’re the only boybands with a biracial guy!), to the untrained eye.
- Every now and then, a song comes along that must be looped, because it is that damn good. I find myself getting lost in Hozier loops, because “Too Sweet” is amazing, yet too short. That said, there are a lot of blue eyed soul dudes out there right now, if you throw in Benson Boone and Teddy Swims. It’s like Robin Thicke crawled so these guys could walk. That sentence probably made Jon B. cry, wherever he is out there…
- Speaking of short, I’ve brought this up in probably the past 2 WBW40 posts, but why are songs getting shorter? In the late 90s, a radio edit of a pop song was around 3:10-3:20. A LOT of today’s pop songs are coming in at 2:50-3:00. 2:50?! There are TV theme songs longer than that!
- Ya know, for a station that purports to play “today’s hit music”, they sure still play a lot of stuff from around 2008. I had forgotten how good those pre-attack Chris Brown songs were. “Forever”? “No Air”?! BANGERS! Now, I’ve kept that “How can y’all listen to him?!” energy since 2009, but I’m starting to feel like I’m the only one. He did Club Shay Shay and Shannon never even addressed the Rihanna situation. So, we’re just all supposed to move on. I mean, it’s been 15 years at this point. I’ve just never been able to “separate the art from the artist”, because the art came from somewhere! It was influenced. That’s how art works. So, before he attacked Rihanna, he was a really talented dude. After he attacked her, I didn’t like anything he put out. I’d love to say it’s because of my resolve, and my determination not to give him a second chance, when it really comes down to he got harder and really leaned into the protection provided by the “urban” demographic. Gone were the bouncy pop songs, and he instead catered to the supporters he had left, and that wasn’t a sound that appealed to me.
- This is sort of “Country”, but it counts because he’s a “Crossover Artist” now, thanks to the success of his “Fast Car” cover: Luke Combs. I never cease to be amazed by the way everything he touches turns to gold. Then, I remember that Country music works like professional wrestling. Everything over there is scripted, and it’s something of an “open secret”. Labels sort of get together and take turns deciding who’s getting “The Push”, but I’ve never seen someone with the success rate of Combs. Not only is it clear that he’s The Guy, the Roman Reigns, but he could possibly reach Garth level. Nobody has really ever touched that throne. People have gotten big, like Brad Paisley and Toby Keith, but they peaked and settled back at a lower, more comfortable-for-them level. Combs has that Tiger Woods thing going for him, where he hit big YOUNG, so he’s got a lot of road left in him, as long as he doesn’t fuck it up. Like Tiger Woods. I just sort of feel bad for the guys who seemingly paid their dues longer. There was a moment when Cole Swindell seemed like he was getting the push, but he’s a midcarder, at best. He’ll be fine, though, as he’ll have a career as long as there are state fairs with concert stages that need to be filled. There are others, though, like Thomas Rhett who’s a Country Legacy. It’s The Family Business! But he sort of got passed over. I guess that makes him Cody Rhodes…
- Speaking of Country, though, I’m reminded how radio personality/former American Idol mentor Bobby Bones was really championing the women of country, because he felt they weren’t getting enough attention. He even went as far as to create a women-only radio countdown, to give them more exposure. And, even at the time, I didn’t really see that as the case. Yes, there were some dominant male performers in that genre, but there was also a revolving door of women, who weren’t really doing anything special. Country music is a lot like Fox News, where there are a lot of seemingly interchangeable hot blondes, all trying to be the next Carrie Underwood. The ones actually making a mark, however, are the ones who don’t fit that mold, like Maren Morris and Kasey Musgraves. Hell, I’d even argue that Carrie Underwood isn’t even Carrie Underwood™ anymore. You want to emulate someone with “staying power”? Be the next Reba.
I think that’s enough rambling for now. As you can see, I’m gearing up for the next WBW40 post, which is coming in January. Until then, let me know your thoughts on the current state of music, and feel free to recommend some stuff you think I should hear!
