I tend to live in a time delay, so I finally caught up to 2010 and saw Black Swan. Yeah, so…didn’t get it. I’m not saying it’s bad, but I’m just not a fan. To quote Peter Griffin, “it insists upon itself”. It’s just so damn pretentious. It’s wrapped up in this whole world that makes you think there’s more to the movie than there is. I mean, first off, there’s whole ballet thing. I get that there’s an art to ballet, and the dance sequences were quite good. That being said, if I wanted ballet, I’d watch public television. After all, that shit is made possible by viewers like me!
Next, there’s just way too much going on. I’m not even getting into the weird transformation/mindfuck stuff. I just mean that there are dangling plotlines on an almost “Claremontian” scale. What’s up with Nina’s crazy mother? What had Nina done to alienate the other girls in the troupe? What’s Beth’s story, other than the fact she was last year’s model? Did the director dude really wanna fuck Nina, or was he just joshing? What did Mila Kunis leave behind in California?
Now, I’ve gotta keep it real, and admit that the movie didn’t have my undivided attention. I was dying to get the Netflix disc back in the mail, so I watched it while tending to my Farmville neighbors. Maybe it would’ve been engaging in a theater, but the mind started to wander.
Seriously though, I’d rank this movie about a notch above Showgirls. Now, before you jump on me, I’ll have you know that I hold Showgirls in higher esteem than most. I love that movie, though I acknowledge it could’ve done without some of the awkward sex. The same could also be said about Black Swan. Showgirls, like Black Swan, was a movie about a girl who just wanted to be a dancer – by any means necessary. Sure, Jessie Spano did a swimming pool bump & grind with The Captain, but Queen Amidala got eaten out by Meg Griffin. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
Anyway, it won Oscars, so clearly I’m the uncultured one. You’ve gotta ask yourself, though “Did I really enjoy it, or did I convince myself I enjoyed it because everyone else said they did?” I used to do that with AbFab. I grew up on Britcoms, and everyone raved over how great AbFab was. I rented it, and found that I was forcing myself to laugh over shit that I really didn’t find funny. Oh well, I’m a lowly commoner. In any case, I’m sure I could learn more about the movie from repeat viewings, but I just don’t care that much.
