I’m not really an album review guy, but I needed something to do while waiting for my Farmville crops to grow. I found Timbaland Presents Shock Value II a few days ago, before it started hitting the main sites. I realized no one had reviewed it yet, so I saw it as my chance to be a web pioneer. Then, I lost internet service for one night, and I lost my lead in the race. In any case, by now, you’ve probably downloaded the album yourself, so I invite you to play along with the home version of our game.
1. “Intro” – standard hiphop intro. Really nothing to write about here. It doesn’t exactly set the tone for the album, but it’s an intro. What did you expect?
2. “Carryout” (feat Justin Timberlake)– Get ready for fast food analogies aplenty. My thing, though, is I wonder if McDonald’s gonna be cool with Mr “I’m Lovin’ It” saying “Have it your way”? It’s got a decent beat, bit I feel it’s slightly too corny to be released to radio. New Kids had a similar song on their last album, called “Full Service” – same overkill analogies, but they revolved around a gas station.
3. “Lose Control” (feat JoJo)– JoJo never really had a distinctive sound, which I think is why she’s considered a one-hit wonder with “Leave (Get Out)”. That song could’ve been recorded by anyone. That comes across here. I think Timbo really wanted Miley, but couldn’t land it. Then, he probably went for Selena Gomez, but couldn’t land that, either. So, the label threw him JoJo. This could work, however, as her comeback single. It’s contemporary enough. It doesn’t do a thing for Timbaland, but it might help to reinvent JoJo as a worthy substitute when the Disney Dames are busy. I definitely see this making it to radio.
4. “Meet Me In Tha Middle” (featuring Bran’Nu) – I believe this is the debut of Brandy’s rapping alter ego, Bran’Nu. Run over one innocent person, and all of a sudden she’s got street cred? Anyway, this is the first track on the album that can really be called a “Timbaland song”. He’s actually rapping, and not just making the occasional call out over the beat. Gotta say, though, you wouldn’t know it’s Brandy just by listening to her. She’s got that NYC swagga going for her. The singing riff definitely sounds like her, but the rap is another beast entirely. It’s surprising, but I’m not sure if it’s a good surprise.
5. “Say Something” (feat Drake) – This leaked LONG ago, and the less said about Drake, the better. The beat is slow and lumbering. It’s actually putting me to sleep. It’s just a boring-ass song. If you like Drake, I guess you’ll like it. God, this is a terrible beat. It’s like someone just got a new Casio keyboard, but they haven’t figured out that there’s more than one backing track option.
6. “Tomorrow In The Bottle” (feat Chad Kroeger & Sebastian) – Out of the gate, I knew I’d like this song. Nice use of Chad Kroeger on the chorus. Even if you hate Nickelback, you can just pretend it’s the Kings of Leon getting funky (can someone explain to me why people hate on Nickelback, yet LOVE Kings of Leon, when they’re essentially the same group?). Anyway, this song is a nice display of Timbaland’s ability to mix genres into something unexpectedly pleasing. It’s the first track on the album that’s not straight, cookie-cutter R&B. This song is HOT, and I think it might signal the turning point of the album.
7. “We Belong To Music” (feat Miley Cyrus) – So, remember how I said he couldn’t land Miley for “Lose Control”? Well, I guess he begged and begged, and the label finally relented. I still find it funny that she’s never heard a Jay-Z song, but she’s recorded a Timbaland song. That’s a shame. That’s like if she’d said “I LOVE fancy restaurants! Red Lobster’s my FAVORITE!” This is one of those situations where the song is incorrectly credited – based on the division of labor, it should be “Miley Cyrus, feat Timbaland”. To be honest, this track should’ve been called “Party In The USA Pt 2”. It’s all about having a good time, namedropping the DJ. Seriously, it’s the same PitUSA. vibe, but with a less catchy hook.
8. “Morning After Dark” (feat Nelly Furtado & So Shy) – This is the single most people have heard, and it’s all OVER the place! It sounds like the standard Shock Value Vol 1 track, but then the chorus hits, and it’s like you’re in the middle of the vampire musical from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. What.The.Fuck? Really? Plus, Furtado’s really annoying. I feel like Timbo’s studio instruction was “Yo, I’m gonna need you to sound Chinese.”
9. “If We Ever Meet Again” (feat Katy Perry) – I also see this getting radio play, as it’s just such a crazy combo. It’s a fun song, melodically. It stays just a notch under stadium rock, with Timbaland’s vocoder providing a pleasing contrast to Katy Perry’s “pouty little rich girl who knows she gonna eventually get her way” delivery that she works so well. This is a great single, as it’s not Timbaland giving us more of the same. If this isn’t a hit song for Timbaland, it’s definitely a hit single for Katy, if included on her next album. Plus, it’s got “I can be easily re-recorded for Kidz Bop” written all over it.
10. “Can You Feel It” (feat Esthero & Sebastian) – This is not bad at all, and Timbaland’s actually working a new flow. Get this in the hands of the right DJ, remix it just right, and this could be a club hit. This is the song that I feel will grow on you after repeated listenings.
11. “Ease Off The Liquor” – The one track on the album without a cameo by another artist. It’s OK. It really shines 2/3 of the way through when it gets all mariachi on our asses. It’s still really just a really long, glorified interlude, though. It’s the kind of thing that you know he recorded while waiting for Miley or Justin to show up at the studio.
12. “Undertow” (feat The Fray and Esthero) – This song would be beautiful if it were just The Fray, but it’s nice that the inclusion of Timbaland doesn’t take anything away from it. I’m not sure if they vibe as well together as Timbaland and OneRepublic, but it’s a nice treat. This might be out of left field, but the pop emo paired with R&B voices reminds me of “Your Home Is In My Heart”, by Boyz II Men and Chante Moore, off the How Stella Got Her Groove Back soundtrack, it was the first time I found myself thinking “Why don’t R&B artists sing this kind of music more often?” (see also Monica & 112’s cover of Richard Marx’s “Right Here Waiting”). Laid back, no unnecessary trills. Beautiful song, perfect for a movie soundtrack.
13. “Timothy, Where You Been?” (feat Jet) – This is Timbaland putting on his Jay-Z pants. I’m not sure if it succeeds. I’m not sure if the whole retrospective thing fits him. It’s just him namedropping and listing successes. We all know what he’s done. We bought the albums. Is he beefing with anyone right now? ‘Cause this is the kind of flossy flossy “look what I’ve done” track that you’d record when someone’s been hatin’. The thing is, it’s not HARD. It’s all somber, with the Jet background. So, instead of being impressed by his accomplishments, it leaves you thinking, “Man, Timbaland sure sounds sad”.
14. “Long Way Down” (feat Daughtry) – Is there a non-Timbaland version of this song? Because I feel he did the same thing that he did with “Apologize” – he took a song that already existed, and he just put his Timbaland Beat under it. Maybe not. Still, I don’t think this works. I might be biased, though – I have a problem with Daughtry. I feel like they’re the second coming of Creed, without the Judeo-Christian grandstanding. This shouldn’t be a recording. This is when Daughtry’s playing an encore, and they break out this song, at which point they invite their good buddy Timbaland onstage with them, and he kinda riffs along with the song. That’s the formula here. Afterwards, they might say, “Hey, that wasn’t bad. We should get in the studio and do something”, but if/when that occurs, this is not the song that they’d “immortalize in wax”.
15. “Marching On” (feat OneRepublic) – He’s fucking doing it again! I understand that he kinda gave them a break by including “Apologize” on the last vol of ,Shock Value but it always pissed me off that it went to radio as “Timbaland, feat OneRepublic”, considering the song already existed in a non-Timbaland version. Why should he get top billing? And here, he does it again. This song was already released on OneRepublic’s recent album, Waking Up, and Timbaland doesn’t add anything here. His contribution worked on “Apologize“, because it was a more electronic album for OneRepublic, but they’ve since taken a folksier, Coldplay route, in which Timbaland can’t just seemlessly sneak onto a track and leave his mark. OneRepublic must just love playing second fiddle to Timbaland. I can’t wait for that future episode of VH-1 Storytellers.
16. “The One I Love” (feat Keri Hilson & D.O.E.) – Did they forget to put this on Keri’s album? It just sounds like every track that she and Timbaland record together. Consistency’s good, but it’s JUST LIKE EVERY SONG SHE AND TIMBALAND HAVE RECORDED TOGETHER. It’s nice that the “The Way I Are” team got back together, though. Otherwise, it’s Timbaland Filler.
17. “Symphony” (feat Attitude, Bran’Nu, and D.O.E.) – Remember when Middle Eastern sounds in hiphop were hot? What was that, 2003? Well, this song is straight out of 2003. It’s Timbo and DOE tryin’ to go hard, but I’m not sure it’s the best note on which to end an album. Oh, and we get another appearance by Bran’Nu. You know, the female R&B field is kinda crowded these days, and I would certainly download an album of straight Bran’Nu rap tracks, which means somebody out there would pay money for that. Somebody better get on that. This might be the best career reinvention since Marky Mark became an actor.
I once read an interview with Missy Elliott, Timbaland, and Magoo, where Missy sold Timbo out by saying that his heart is really with 80s power bands, like Journey, and that if he had his way, that’s the kind of stuff he’d be creating. He does R&B and hiphop because that’s what people expect of him, and it’s what pays the bills. It wasn’t long after that interview that Timbaland and Missy sort of sort of started working with other people (and Magoo went back to his shift at Sonic). I don’t think Missy meant it as a slight, but I think she realized that he had a very limited number of things he wanted to say when it came to R&B. This album is further proof of that. When it comes to “black music” (I know that’s I’m gonna get some flack for that), I think he’s said all that he has to say. Those songs all have that Timbaland Beat, which is becoming as tired as the Swizz Beatz sound became in the early aughts. It’s when he steps out of the past, and works with today’s pop artists that he truly shines. I think he has a LOT left to offer popular music, but I think he needs to leave the cookie-cutter hip-pop behind and do more stuff like “Tomorrow In The Bottle”, “Undertow” or definitely “If We Ever Meet Again”. He’s definitely headed in the right direction, and I can’t wait to see what we get on Shock Value III.
