2007 In Music

“You may look all nice, and sing all nice, but you are not nice.”

So, my good friend, Marcus, went and stole my idea for a post. You see, I’ve had a music post in me for the past couple of days, but I just needed a chance to sit down and hammer it out. He, on the other hand, snatched the concept right out my brain for his myspace blog. Whatever. A myspace blog is a step up from a livejournal…

Anyway, he’s the only one who’ll probably read this, so it’ll really just keep me from having to pick up a phone and call him. God bless technology!

First of all, I need to admit defeat in one area. Back in May, I declared Sean Kingston‘s “Beautiful Girls” as the song of the summer. I really thought I was on to something, but people were sick of that song about a week after that post. I hate to do it, but I really think “The Way I Are” took that title. Was there any other song that got more airplay over the past 3 months? Timbo was everywhere this summer, but this song was part of every long music stretch on Top 40 radio. They even tried to switch things up halfway through the summer by replacing the regular album version with the hook-laden radio edit. The whole massive repeat of the hook was done for the extended version, but why anyone thought you could just cut the song there and omit Timbo’s rap is beyond me. It’s not like it had to be cut for content. Either way, this song is still riding high on the charts.

Now, Marcus goes on to call Rihanna’s “Umbrella” the song of the year. I will say it was the most remixed/covered song of the year, but I don’t think I’m willing to give it his distinction just yet.

He also says that there was no album of the year. His criteria include the fact that it has to be enjoyable from beginning to end. I beg to differ on that. I still say that Fall-Out Boy’s Infinity on High is the sleeper hit of the year. It has had its singles, and its questionable videos (a chimpanzee? Uganda? Really?), but there is not a bad track on that album. Especially, I love that they come up with the BEST names for songs. My personal favorite at the moment is “It’s Hard to Say ‘I Do’ When I Don’t” (bonus track on the Wal-Mart version). Close runner up: “G.I.N.A.S.F.S. (Gay Is Not A Synonym For Shitty)” (bonus track on international version).

Daughtry – I really hated this guy and all he stood for. I wanted to write him off as “the bald Bo Bice”, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love “Over You”. Like “Rockstar”, it’s got such a singable chorus, and I want to think it’s the male answer to “Before He Cheats”.

Nickelback – “Rockstar” is a funny song to me. Moreso, the video to Rockstar is funny to me. You see, they’ve got cameos by a whole bunch of people who, I’m sure, hate Nickelback. I wonder if these people were even told that they would be lipsynching to a Nickelback video. I can write some of them off, like Gretzky & Taryn Manning, but Kid Rock? Gene Simmons? Nelly Furtado? Really? It’s a fun song, which I’m sure is ALL THE RAGE in your neighborhood redneck karaoke bar. It’s officially the White “The Way I Are” for the year.

BSB vs. Britney – A face-off between Britney & Backstreet. Man, that takes me back. It’s also pretty f’ed up on the part of Jive. It sucks because Brit’s album was leaked, so they had to get whatever sales they possibly could. In the meantime, they’ve been flying Backstreet around the world since May just trying to drum up international support for their release. They’d really dumped too much money into the BSB Machine to move their release date. I didn’t get Britney’s album because it’s not a “destination album” to me. I can always download it, or buy it from a used store in 3 months. Hell, I just bought her last CD about 2 months ago for $4, and it was well-worth it. It’s not a bad album, but it’s totally a “fuckin’ album” Not “love-makin'”, but FUCKING. It’s what you put on when your drunk sorority girlfriend wants to “do it like in that movie with that guy”.

Anyway, I did get Unbreakable by BSB. It’s a longstanding tradition that I buy all BSB albums on release day. Sad, I know. I’m really getting sick of their whole “we’re still here” gimmick with the album titles. First, was Black & Blue, which signified all they’d been through from their label and the press. Then, there was their last album, Never Gone, which made some people wish they would go somewhere. It was too soft-rock for their own good. Now, they come back with Unbreakable. We get it, guys. While it might pertain to the fact that they’re still around even though Kevin left the group, let’s be honest: vocally, he never contributed much to the group. He’s the bass, but they never sing 5-part harmony, so it didn’t matter. Plus, none of his singles were ever released on the American versions of their albums.

Sadly, Unbreakable is just more of the Never Gone stuff. I don’t know what’s wrong with songwriters, but it’s like they’ve run out of lyrics. At the beginning of the year, Nick Lachey gave us “What’s Left of Me”, with the hook, “I don’t wanna waste another day.” BSB’s lead single, “Inconsolable”, gives us the hook, “I don’t wanna waste another day.” But, the VERY NEXT SONG on the album (“Something That I Already Know”) gives us the hook, “I don’t wanna waste another minute.” Really? Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that no one even considered moving that track to later on the disc?!

J. Holiday – I think R&B might be on an upswing, as Omarion’s “Ice Box” was the hotness, but J. Holiday had to come along and give us a good old-fashioned I’m-gonna-do-you-dirty-but-still-act-like-we’re-just-makin’-love song. “Bed” is just smooth. I really don’t want J to be a one-hit wonder, especially being a DC boy. This isn’t his debut, but it’s definitely gonna be the song that puts him on the map. This has LSG written all over it, and it’s refreshing to here after we’ve been through the whole “Confessions/Trapped in the Closet” phase of R&B, of “I’m sorry I cheated on you, but I’ve still somehow managed to come out ‘the good guy’.”

Soulja Boy – What can I say? “Crank Dat” is the Seinfeld of Hip-Hop: A song about nothing. And that’s just want ignorant folks want, to not have to think about their music. You can’t be thinking about deep lyrics when you’re trying to get the dance right. You worry about the words after the dance is down. That’s what works for Britney. Who’da thunk a song about just busting on a woman would be such a hit? Oh right, we already knew because it worked so well for Lil John on “Get Low”. The kids love their moneyshots!

Beyonce – “Get Me Bodied”: Wow, Beyonce made a song that I like. I won’t lie; I’ve liked other stuff, but honestly, her solo stuff has left me cold. I was way more into Destiny’s Child than The ‘Yonce. Yes, there are subtle differences in the song choices of the two. Anyway, “Get Me Bodied” makes you move. You can’t fight it. And it works everywhere. Close your eyes and it’s that high school dance, that birthday party, or that family reunion (you know the kind, where black folks rent out the local community center and hook up an old Aiwa stereo as the music choice). The best way to experience this is the extended version, which also doubles as a commercial for her clothing line, House of Dereon”. I didn’t even know the song was still going. i’m sitting there thinking, wow that was a smooth transition. Little did I know she’d come roaring back, telling me to shake my derrier in the House of Dereon. It makes you want to get up in church and testify. it’s got such a “Pick a Bale O’ Cotton” vibe to it near the end.

Alicia Keys – “No One”: This song is just on the verge of hotness. What it needs is an uptempo remix. It’s almost there. I’m feeling the laid-back old school groove, but I can just hear the potential in this song. The funny thing about Alicia is that her gimmick was “the black piano girl”, but in recent years, though, she’s moved more from Vanessa Carlton to pre-crack Whitney. She doesn’t have the vocal range, but the piano is taking a backseat in her songs of late. She was killing those keys in “Fallin'”, while the background of No One is pretty much comprised of practice scales. I still think the song is hot, but it could be hotter.

Colbie Caillat – “Bubbly”: I really didn’t want to like this song. I give her the same credit I give Tila Tequila & OneRepublic, in realizing that it takes a lot of work to build a true fanbase through Myspace. She did it and got her album out. She could either go the Sheryl Crow route or the early Nelly Furtado route (ya know, before she started hanging out with Black guys, i.e. “Like A Bird”). If she can stay pure, we might have something here. I really don’t want her to be a one-hit wonder, but I’d prefer that than having any chance of hearing the Bubbly remix, feat. T-Pain, Akon, Timbaland & JT.

Thriller – A Halloween mainstay, I heard this song about 3 times yesterday, and it’s STILL HOT. I swear on Great Odin’s Beard, this song never gets old. Sure, I could do without the campy Vincent Price part at the end, but the song MAKES you move. And everybody wants to learn that dance. Before I die, I want to be part of a large-scale, choreographed dance. I don’t know if I have to go on Broadway, or just plan a party of equally geek-minded people. But dammit, I’m gonna learn that dance.

I have a song, which many refer to as “The Biebl” that is my therapy. It’s a version of “Ave Maria”, arranged by a composer by the name of Franz Biebl. It was given as a gift to the Cornell Glee Club back in the 70s while they were on tour. Many people laugh at the notion, but I truly believe that it is the most beautiful piece of music ever. It’s my therapy. If I hit rock bottom, that song brings me back. You don’t have to know Latin, you don’t need to really believe the “message”. All you need to do is let go to the music. To me, Thriller is the Pop Biebl. You hear that, and you refuse to believe that Michael ever touched those kids. You refuse to believe that he’s ever gonna go crazy and marry Elvis’s daughter, resulting in a half-nekkid video. You forget that he’s going to blow all his money and create a zoo/amusement park at his house. All you know is you need to dance, because you’re listening to the rockin’est song of the past 25 years. Yeah, I said it. The entire album was unstoppable, but this song, and it’s incredible/incredibly expensive video were a driving force in making it the greatest selling album of all time.