“Root Beer: The White man’s ‘Orange Drink’!”
Alas, the 21 days are over. No more wedding party. I was up until 3 this morning, watching I Propose. Why the Hell am I doing this to myself…
In any case, I spent my Saturday meeting clients at the American Library Association Conference at the convention center. Now, my first thought was, “Who’s manning the libraries?!” I mean, every librarian in North America had to be at this thing. I think they were expecting around 30,000 people. Let me say, conferences are funny because you’ve got nothing but a ton of people supporting every stereotype that you’ve ever held about a specific group. Librarians? Everything you’ve heard about them is true!
Many of them are young, hot, and naughty. They look at you like they want to take you in the stacks and have you mess up their Dewey decimal system. That may be true, but many of them are also the contingent that’s older and more lunchlady-like. The kind of woman to teach you to read with Dr. Seuss , as you sit, Indian-style, on a rug. The kind of grandmotherly woman who might stroke your hair as she’s reading NFL Huddles to you (Did anybody else read that series? In kindergarten, there was always a list to check out that series. I hated football, but you bet your ass I was on that list!) Spank me! No, read to me! No, talk dirty to me! Yes, I know there’s no talking in the library! A place like that can be murder on a person’s hormones.
When you work in the small press, you learn to go straight to the back of the room ’cause that’s where your people are going to be. It’s kinda like the Jim Crow days. Not Marvel or DC? Back of the bus, Colored! Anyway, I met a couple of my vendors for the first time, and I ran into one that I met at my first show (SPX), back in October. He didn’t recognize me at first, and he says to me, “I don’t mean this in a bad way, but did you lose some weight?” I told him that I was the product of the miracle of running and Slim Fast. He told me I looked great, which is never bad to hear. I’ve worked my ass off the past few months, so it’s nice to know that it shows. Anyway, turns out he’s a runner and he was giving me tips on shoes and whatnot. That was certainly the highlight of my day.
Now, back to the librarians. The book world is so different from the comic world. We’re only just beginning to be accepted as “literature”, hence the set up at a show like this. High school and public libraries are jumping on graphic novels like they’re koopa troopas. But the way that indsutry works is just so different. It’s funny to go somewhere and see Scholastic is the cock of the walk. You know, Harry Potter has been amazing for them, but I’m always going to think of them as the book fair/Weekly Reader company. Well, that company makes everyone else their bitch when it’s conference time. If there’s one thing I took away, it’s don’t fuck with Scholastic. People were lining up for a Harry Potter poster like they were waiting to meet the Pope. You’ve come a long way, Scholastic!
Also, this is the first conference I’ve ever seen where you can just drink on the floor. “Our book was just nominated for some shit. Come get some champagne!” There was such an odd mix of exhibitors, too. One company specialized in shelving and organization, so I guess that made sense. However, their set up was not of a bookself. No, the shelves were in the pictures. The booth, actually, was set up as a bar. And they were giving out Heineken! As much as I wanted to partake, I really didn’t want to get roped in. As cool as con swag may be, it’s meant to bring you in so that they can start a dialogue. I didn’t feel like sitting through a spiel, as they ask about my library and circulation, and then I have to answer with the whole, ‘Well, I’m not actually a librarian…” Nope. At that point, I’d just be “that freeloading Black guy” (there were only about 5 of us there, so it wouldn’t be hard for me to be pegged as the “freeloading one”) and I didn’t need that. So, no drinky for me. But I more than made up for that later that day.
The most impressive aspect of the day, though, was the end of the show. I have to hand it to librarians, in that they follow instructions. The show was to end at 5, and they began to slowly mill out around 4:50. there was no announcement, no nothing. By 5, that hall was clear. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to the auto show or a comic con, but there’s always that bunch that just won’t leave. “I’m just about to meet George Perez,” they whine. Or “Let me just get one more picture of this Escalade!”. But not here. These ladies knew what to do and when to do it, and I’ve never seen such an orderly exodus. They teach us to love reading, and they teach us punctuality. Is there no limit to their greatness?!
In closing, and off topic, the unplugged version of Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer is something akin to a religious experience. The same way that Clapton redefined Layla in his unplugged session, LoaP became an entirely different song. You’re really forced to feel it, and it becomes so much more than “that song played after The Outfield’s Your Love and before Sweet Caroline at last call”…
