“This is high school, huh? I’ve been here four seconds and I hate everyone.”
So, finally my geekspertise comes in handy. Today’s gossip sites have been going on and on about Skylar Deleon and the supposed
Power Ranger Murders .
Now, many of you all haven’t been with me long, but if there’s one thing I know in this world, it’s Power Rangers. I’ll spare you the details, but I know things about that franchise that will make you weep in pity for my soul.
I don’t know who Skylar’s publicist it, but he/she KICKS ASS! Why? Because he was NEVER a Power Ranger! If you dig deep enough, you find out that he was merely an extra. You know how many extras Saban used? Thousands! Why? Because he didn’t pay them! In 1993, a kid would’ve signed away his soul to lick dog shit off a Power Ranger’s boot. Saban only used non-union actors, which is why this guy can’t be found on IMDB. In Hollywood’s eyes, Skylar Deleon does not exist, so it’s funny his claim to fame in this trial is that he was a “Power Rangers regular.”
The reports even go as far as calling him a former child star. I know most of the cast of “Diff’rent Strokes” have either died or are busy with their security guard shifts, but have we run out of child stars enough that we bestow the label on just anyone? That Mikey kid was a child star. Soleil Moon Frye was a child star. Hell, for a hot minute, the kids on “Alf” were child stars. But Power Ranger extras? That’s the equivalent of a doctor telling you: “The bad news is you have diarrhea. The good news is there’s no blood in it.” Those kids were the lowest of the low.
My favorite comment about it came from Defamer.com:
“This could be an important test case, helping to further define the level of fame required to beat a murder rap, which now hovers somewhere between “Beretta” and “rental car pitchman/former football star.” Our suspicion is that “former Power Ranger” isn’t quite going to make the cut. (Unless he was the Green Ranger. Then all bets are off.)”
I laughed ’cause the minute I heard that some “Power Ranger was wanted for murder”, the first thing I thought was, “Damn, Tommy! How could you let me down like that?!!” Yup, the Green Ranger was gonna be my OJ, and I was starting to plan my courthouse vigil. I was gonna stand outside the trial everyday, wearing a child’ version of the Green Ranger costume. I was gonna hire non-union actors to have mock fights with me in front of the newshounds. And when Tommy was acquited, I’d be the guy releasing the doves.
So, the good news is I don’t have to track down some green doves. The bad news is…well, I guess there IS no bad news. Unless you’re Skylar Deleon. Dumbass wannabe…
